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OPINION

Goodnight Moonbat

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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There are thousands of authors that would sell their souls for a positive 500-word New York Times review of their book.  No doubt that many of these authors have groundbreaking books on important issues.  Putting those aside, last Sunday the Times featured a children’s book that blatantly copies the classic Goodnight Moon.  Its purpose is bashing the Bush Administration, natch.  The Times’ Joanne Kaufman writes:

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The cover of Goodnight Bush looks almost exactly like Goodnight Moon — green and orange, with an image of a window and fireplace — and uses a similar rhyme scheme. But there the thematic similarities end.

The authors, Erich Origen and Gan Golan, set their story in “a situation room.” There is no bunny snuggling into bed, but rather George W. Bush grinning and wearing a “Mission Accomplished” flight suit. Instead of three little bears sitting on chairs, there are “war profiteers giving three cheers.”

Goodnight Bush’s publisher told the Times, “[T]his had so many brilliant gags. You could spend so much time looking page by page.”

It’s amazing what passes for “brilliant” in leftists’ circles.  These authors must have honed their skills in college by making “Bush is Hitler!” placards.  The authors’ gags include a clock permanently set on 9:11, a copy of the Constitution that’s been written over in crayon, “a tiny scurrying Osama bin Laden” in place of the mouse that runs around throughout Goodnight Moon, and an “Ohio 2004” ballot box burning in the fireplace. 

The text is just as subtle:

Goodnight Constitution. And goodnight evolution.

Goodnight old growth trees. Goodnight detainees.

Obviously, Goodnight Bush is meant for childish liberals rather than children.  Accolades from the media are numerous and nauseating.  The San Francisco Chronicle purrs, “Goodnight Bush stands to become a popular American political parody.” 

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Salon.com coos, “Seldom have an administration's failings been set to such a lulling cadence.”  Of course, one would expect Goodnight Clinton to be wrapped in plastic and sold in the back of the store with a “Sexually Explicit Material” warning label (or widely available in America’s public schools).

A blogger for The Village Voice writes, “Cute illustrations abound: a refinery plume, piggy war profiteers, a spilt glass of water with Katrina victims floating in it.  The text is warm and fuzzy — not as fuzzy as Bush's brain but warmer than Cheney's heart.”

In the month between the San Francisco Chronicle and New York Times articles, Goodnight Bush jumped from #507 to #57 as of this week.  Apparently, liberals have an easier time reading a 48-page children’s book because there are dozens and dozens of unsuccessful Bush-bashing books collecting dust. 

There are several “children’s books” parodying the genre and bashing the Bush administration.  Young Dick Cheney (150 pages) boasts that it is “a wickedly funny faux-children’s biography recounts Young Dick Cheney’s youthful lust for guns, oil, and the girl of his dreams.”  Intellectual giant Phil Donahue says it’s “a big hoot.”  Arianna Huffington says the book “pries back the door on our secretive Vice President.”  The only thing more secret is Arianna’s electric bill.

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Yiddish with George and Laura (112 pages) “invades the ultimate bastion of American WASP culture: Kennebunkport, home of the Bush clan.”  For the supposed purpose of teaching Yiddish terms, the authors write about Laura Bush finding a baby in the woods and George Bush telling her to throw it back.  In another scene, brother Neil Bush asks, “But what if a child does get left behind?”  “‘Then he can join the Army,’ says George.” 

Other “progressive” children’s books include:

George W. Bush Coloring Book (24 pages)

Pat Robertson and Friends Coloring Book (28 pages) – “fundamentalists, politicians, journalists and criminals… meet them all in this easy-to-understand guide to the world of Pat Robertson”

My First Presidency: A Scrapbook by George W. Bush (68 pages)

Punch Out the President (and Pals!): A Paper Doll Book Starring W. and Friends (32 pages)

At an average of 71 pages, it’s no surprise that so many pathetic liberal authors gravitate to the children’s genre.  No footnotes are needed because they make the same statements found in the DailyKos comments section.  Bush is dumb!  Halliburton!  Impeach Cheney!  Diebold!  9-11 was an inside job!

As the end of the George W. Bush presidency nears, one wonders what will become of all the leftists who have made a living bashing the President and the Vice President with colorful pictures and words.  I suppose they’ll just go back to their cushy jobs at America’s colleges and universities.  Or perhaps they’ll butcher another classic and pen Paddington Bares It All for PETA or The Little Engine That Could – Thanks to Affirmative Action.

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