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Your Government Doesn’t Have the Slightest ID

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

I believe it may have been Charles Kuralt who once remarked “Radio is a harsh mistress.” And he is right. For those of you who have never enjoyed a career in the broadcast arts, it might interest you to know that a radio station is less a technological marvel than it is a very large, overpowered infant that constantly demands one’s attention.

And when one works the morning drive shift, that baby needs even more TLC than usual. Hence, my workdays begin at approximately 2:30 in the blessed AM so I can be at the studio by 3:00. When one is up at that hour for any reason, even a good reason, coffee is a must. I sometimes swing by the local convenience store on my way in to work.

As I am not in the habit of carrying cash, I often pay for my java with a credit card. More often than not, the young lady behind the counter will take a gander at it, hand it back and sweetly ask me for my ID before I can swipe the card.

I stopped by my local bank the other day- the bank at which I have been doing business in this town for the last 20 years to cash my freelance check to buy the groceries. The new teller did not recognize me and so she asked me to please present my ID before giving me my money.

Last year I was hauling the proverbial mail on my way back to work. The cop who stopped me for speeding requested my driver’s license.

Perhaps the crème de la crème came about three weeks ago when I went to renew that very driver’s license. A new law in my state mandates that one present a valid alternate form of ID and proof of a social security number before renewing one’s license.

As many times as I have to flash my driver’s license each day, it kind of makes that whole argument against showing an ID to vote sound a little silly, doesn’t it? (Oh, in my county one has to show an ID to vote, too.)

But still, the Left continues to bemoan the notion of creating and enforcing voter ID laws as if it was being asked to cut off its collective arm. The argument becomes even less convincing to even the most casually discerning mind, when one notes that on Tuesday, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder threw a little shindig on Tuesday marking October as Disability Employment Awareness month.

Mr. Holder, who has likened voter ID to a poll tax and has made fighting it his number one priority made sure that media covering the event presented not only a valid driver’s license and valid media credentials. So the man who is battling voter ID made demanded that media members present at least two forms ID just to take his picture and sing his praises. Not that I blame him, you can’t trust those people in the media.

Not to be outdone, the U.S. Department of Agriculture is proposing a new rule that would mandate that when transporting chickens across state lines, producers must verify the identity of every chicken.

That is a problem your average farmer could easily side-step by claiming he is just taking his pullets to the polls. Now if the farmer can prove these chickens were hatched, raised and slaughtered as a group, he would not have to participate in what could be called C-Verify. (Get it? Get it? Okay then, moving on…)

However, many farmers don’t group chickens together in such a manner, meaning they would have to provide ID for every chicken they ship. We own four chickens and I can’t imagine getting even that many to sit still while they get their pictures taken at the DMV. The USDA says the rule is needed to trace livestock in order to prevent the spread of disease, but is still murky on the benefits or the cost of leg-banding every chicken one ships.

So to quickly recap:

I had to show an ID to use my credit card.

I had to show an ID to cash a check.

I had to show an ID to prove I wasn’t a criminal

And I had to show an ID to get an ID.

One also must present an ID to cover the AG. And chickens need to have one to go on vacation or to your grocer’s freezer. But the big-government crowd doesn’t want to make people show an ID to vote for the office of President of the United States.

And they want to be in charge of even more of my life?   

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