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OPINION

The Shame of the Never Trumpers

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Susan Walsh

This is on them, those brave and bold MSNBCNN warriors who sold out the conservatives who once took their cruises until Trump exposed the grift; these True Conservatives™ then proceeded to help elect Grandpa Badfinger pseudo-president. Well, at least they are consistent – when they were nominally conservative, the GOP squishes they backed led us to disaster, and the Dem libs they back now are doing the same.

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The Conservative, Inc., crew are the smart guys. The moral guys. The experts of expertise. Just ask them. The Never Trumpers are the adults in the room, even if adults aren’t the North American Man-Boy Lincoln Project’s usual target demo. 

This Afghanistan disaster, this utter abomination that will lead to tens of thousands of deaths of foreigners who trusted America, the humiliation of our country – country first, right guys? – and a possible hostage crisis to boot that will require us to thaw out and redeploy Ted Koppel, is on them.

But it’s not completely on them. Let’s face it, they don’t have that much influence anymore. Their purpose is solely to pretend that there is a conservative constituency for leftism. No one points to these doofuses and says, “Yeah, let’s harken back to the glory days when these geniuses were managing America’s decline – that was much better.” They failed then, and they are failing now, and when the Silicon Valley suckers funding these turncoat losers wise up and turn off the cash spigot, no one will listen to them at all.

It’s funny – you look at a toad like Bill Kristol and you wonder what bothers him most – the fact that a bunch of conservatives despise him, or the fact that most modern conservatives couldn’t pick him out of a line-up with LTC Bratwurst, Ana Navarro, and Brian Stelter, who is a potato.

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You need to understand who these guys are. They are unaccomplished footnote people, whether it’s “Is a hot dog a sandwich or a taco?” dilemma pundit Jonah Goldberg (whose been coasting off his one good book for years), or drag queen story time advocate David French – whose name we once could have made fun of by citing the Gallic stereotype of military ineptness, except it turns out the frogs are courageously going out into Kabul to sweep up their citizens while the demented muppet the Ahoy Crew voted for has ordered our American forces to sit tight. 

They are co-owners of this fiasco. They wanted Biden. It was imperative to saving the Republic, or something, we were solemnly informed. Those mean tweets, those damnable mean tweets – we needed the calming, soothing normality of a steady statesman and got a senile cone-licker-in-chief instead.

If these guys weren’t wrong, they’d be nothing.

This is building back better. This is returning dignity and majesty to the Oval Office. This is reaffirming America’s standing in the world – which means making our great warriors stand aside as heroes from Britain and France and elsewhere go out and do the job Americans who don’t write for the Bulwark once did.

Watching Jenn Rubin melt down on Twitter as the circus she had previously defended descended into total chaos would have been delightful if not for the knowledge that, across the globe, people were literally dying because of the frivolous follies of people like her. To the DC/NY in-crowd, this is all a game; to the people at the consequential end of the policies they pushed and still push, it’s life or death, with the current emphasis on the latter. 

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And if another of those apparently healthy, military-aged males ensconced at some consulting conglomerate like Bain, or at the Liberty Eagle Forum for Families, Liberty and Eagles, starts sounding off about how the poor kids ought to go back and fight, I’ll lose it. I intensely dislike the whole chickenhawk thing for many reasons, but for these smooth, chest-hairless weasels I’ll make an exception.

How do these traitors come back from this, to the extent they ever could come back from their serial betrayals over the last half-decade and their pathetic performance as conservatives who never conserved nothing over the prior decades? They won’t, but they will still benefit from the milieu they have vigorously defended, the one that assures that even adjunct members of the in-crowd like them will never, ever be held to account. Start wars you have no idea how to finish – to the extent you want them to ever finish – and what happens? You get rewarded by the elite instead of shunned. Come on down to the green room – noted intern -employer Joe Scarborough’s got some questions! And don’t forget to fret about Muh Insurrection! I hear that was 9/11 times a zillion.

Pathetic.

Do not underestimate the capacity of these chameleons to adapt. David French went from pretending to be conservative hard to confessing his white privilege – whatever tune you need him to dance to, just make it rain and he’ll start shimmying. What the hell does David French actually believe, anyway? I don’t care, nor do you, but I am curious, not about what it is but whether he actually believes anything at all anymore. Hold on guys, because my money is on an upcoming column at whatever unread blog currently hosts his mewlings titled “The Conservative Case for Sharia.”

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One might ask why it is important to devote the time to mocking these fudds when they are so manifestly inconsequential. It’s human nature – everyone hates a traitor, but more importantly, treachery should be punished. They should be shamed for their prissy perfidy. And there is a practical reason. There are some among our party who secretly yearn to return to the good-old days of sensible, measured GOP decline, like under Bush. Those simps need to know the fate that awaits Benedict Arnolds. Contempt for the Cruise Ship Cons provides a cautionary example. We want pols who support our America First agenda, but we’ll make do with pols who are too terrified of the base to oppose it. The fate of the Never Trumpers of Conservative, Inc., calumny and exile to the nether reaches of some panel with Don Lemon, must await all who would stab us in the back. Ahoy.

Conservatives Must Stand Together and Fight. Join Townhall VIPAnd Check Out Last Week's Stream of Kurtiousness, How Are Those Mean Tweets Looking Now?. And my podcast, Unredacted.

Ahoy! Bill Kristol called my Kelly Turnbull novels “appalling.” That blub now goes on all my book covers, and it alone should send you off to get my latest conservative action thriller, The Split, about what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. In fact, get all six bestsellers, including People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, Collapse, and Crisis! Every time you read one, a Never Trumper cries – more than usual.

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