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OPINION

The GOP Should Revolt Against Lame Duck Pelosi’s Dictatorship

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

The ridiculous mask kabuki that Lame Duck Dictator Nancy Pelosi is attempting to impose upon the Party of Freedom is the perfect opportunity for the GOP to demonstrate that it is not a flock of hapless, wriggling invertebrates. A little spine shown right about now would go a long way, not only to winning back Congress in 2022 by an even bigger margin than currently anticipated but to fixing the institution that power-mad harridan has grievously damaged. It might mean accepting that Republicans will be booted from the House for a bit, but who cares? We have zero input anyway. Make a stand.

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Here you go, GOP. Here’s your game plan. Get together. Throw your grody face-thongs into the trash. Walk into the People’s House. Refuse to obey her erratic and bizarre commands to submit.

The ball is in your court, Lame-O Duck-O.

Maybe she’ll “fine” you. Great. Have lawyers on standby to go to court for an injunction against her unilateral attempt to alter your pay as legislators. Courts exist to solve disputes, and you have a good case. Can she also dock your pay for…not voting as she sees fit? Why or why not, Democrat ambulance chasers? Let’s have that fight.

Maybe she will expel the Republicans. Great. In her regime, the GOP can’t do anything anyway. It cannot even pick its own committee members. So what, exactly, do we lose if she bars the door and expels our reps? Hell, they should go back to their districts and start campaigning now. Let the Dems stay back in the fetid swamp that is DC and live out their collective Jeffrey Toobin Zoom call.

Yeah, the fascists are gonna fascist. Will she turn her moist, bloated personal Praetorian Guard – from the size of these teary-eyed, glorified mall cops it ought to be “Eat-orian Guard” – on the Republican rebels? Fine. Let her. Carry our reps out in flexi-cuffs and toss them in the clink. Cool. They’ll be free in an hour and the b-roll will make for wonderful ads about Her Lameness’s assault on Muh Democracy.

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Perhaps she will merely berate our reps about how they are literally murdering millions of people with their refusal to submit to serfdom. Music to our ears. Let her rant.

Let’s establish in the eyes of America, firmly and fully, the GOP as the Party of No Hysterics. That sure beats being identified as the Party of Perpetual Pandemic Panic and Public School Teachers’ Union Cuddling.

Vaccinated people, and this bears repeating, pose no substantial danger to others and are at no substantial danger from others. Masks are a joke. They were always a joke. And now masks have morphed from a potential prophylactic to a visible virtue signal for neurotic weirdos. Stop playing along, Republicans.

“So, you know more than the CDC, Kurt?”

Yes.

Now, the CDC and its CNN-loving medical meat puppets have been right about masks in the past, but this is only because they have literally taken every possible position on masks since they began botching the pandemic response 18 months ago. One of their myriad positions had to have been correct.

Let’s review.

First, masks were useless and we should not wear them.

Then it became “You must wear a mask.”

Then it was “No, you must wear two masks.”

Then, after the Trump vaccine came out, it became “Thanks to President Asterisk’s vaccine, you don’t need a mask.”

Now it’s “You must wear masks again because think of the children.”

One of those decrees was right. My opinion – apparently shared by that malignant little dwarf in his private emails – is that the correct one was Position Numero Uno, which was “Get that ridiculous rag off your mug”

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So no, our legislators will not be launching a genocide by refusing to abase themselves for the Lame Ducktress’s pleasure. Instead, they will be striking a powerful blow for freedom.

Now, there will be consequences, and this scares the sissies on our side. I suggest they be more scared of us primarying their cowardly behinds than of some wizened crone who is going to get swept away in the approaching red tsunami. We are only about 3-5 seats from a majority now. We are going to gerrymander – oh yeah, we need to gerrymander ruthlessly – a bunch of new seats. We’re going to see lots of Dems retiring, opening up more seats, as they can smell the coming rout. And the Dems have a ridiculous agenda in support of debt, tax increases, criminal coddling, and CRT to help weigh them down. When voters walk into Junior’s room to watch him endure another year of tele-school and see that the lesson today is “Your Mommy and Daddy Are Pretty Much Klansmen, Klanswomen, and/or Klansnon-binaries,” even the most frigid Chardonnay mom in her blue suburb is going to consider secretly checking the box for the party that will put an end to this bizarre nonsense.

Nancy Pelosi was always lame. Now she just has the waterfowl part attached too.

She’s dry, crusty toast, and it will be up to the surviving Democrats to clean up her crumbs. And that’s when the pain gets delivered. 

They must suffer. A lot. Some people learn from study. Others learn from pain. Make it hurt, GOP. Stick a hefty price tag on the Democrat caucus’s support for their lame duck leader’s abuses. Payback is already due and payable – Nancy nuked the norms by stripping Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene of her committee assignments for thought crimes. Then she picked who could be on the Minor Fracas Kangaroo Kommittee – the Beltway Cowgirl and her sobbing Renfield Kinzinger – and barred others who were not Dem stooges. The old rule is the party caucus leader makes committee assignments. I guess that’s not the rule anymore. Groovy. Let each of the ranking Democrat members of each committee, who will revert to being ranking minority members of said committees in January 2023, that the new speaker shall be exercising his prerogative to kick them all off their panels. Their hard-earned seniority? Poof. Why? Because he can.

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Sorry, Lame Duck Nancy’s rules. Go talk to her if you don’t like it. If you come to talk to us, you’ll be talking to the hand.

So, the first step in the process of fixing what she broke is to step into the House unburdened by some silly viral hijab and dare Nancy Pelosi to do something about it. She’s vindictive and stupid and she will, and that’s fine. Let it play out, and then take your vengeance. The Democrats who will still be there when Pelosi is back home guzzling grapes at her winery need to know that they will be the ones paying her check. 

What goes around shall come around, hard. It’s the only way they will learn.

Conservatives Must Stand Together and Fight. Join Townhall VIPAnd Check Out Last Week's Stream of Kurtiousness, They Can All Kiss My A**. And my podcast, Unredacted.

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