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Thirty Pieces Of Silver For The Traitors

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite,File

There’s always a market for betrayal, and turncoats always draw attention out of proportion to their actual significance. In the case of the Beltway Cowgirl and her sniveling Renfield Kinzinger, that’s easy since they have no significance.

I think the FBI is trying to entice me into some sort of faux conspiracy. But these clowns aren’t even good at entrapment. 

My new book, The Split, is out and it’s a bestseller…and it provides a lesson for conservatives looking to get back into the pop culture fight.

Cheney/Kinzinger 2024

They have to run. They’ll clean up on the sissy vote, as well as the pervert poll. After all, they threw in with the Pedo Platoon that is the North American Man-Boy Lincoln Project. Both have agreed to fulfill the role of designated submissive for Nancy Pelosi on her ridiculous inquisition. For them, it’s actually an audition for a slot on MSNBCNN. By January 2023, neither will have a job. Annie Jokely will be tossed out by the people of Wyoming who are sick of her bullSchiff done in their name, and Kinz-dawg is going to get his district in Illinois erased by the very same Democrats whose toes he’s currently shrimping. 

We spend a lot of time hating on them, because they are so manifestly hateable, but let’s remember that in the big scheme of things, neither is in the big scheme of things. They are nobodies lifted to the status of pseudo-somebodies by a corrupt media eager to portray the GOP as rent with unbridgeable divisions. In reality, the GOP is united in its contempt for these two posing geebos.

Human nature is such that we hate traitors even more than the actual enemy. Nancy Pelosi is a scheming, corrupt, aspiring fascists with delusions of coherence, but we can accept that. She must be broken and humiliated, which she will be in 2022, and that’s that. But the collaborators must be destroyed utterly, and their pointy heads figuratively mounted on pointy sticks over the drawbridge so everyone sees the fate of traitors. 

The K Street lobbying shop they set up in must be ostracized and shunned by every Republican, and told why: “You hired that wench and her cabin boy, and until you publicly fire them lose my number. Click.” Same with the cable channel they land at – no Republican guests, no Republican comment, no nothing.

There needs to be a price for treason; until someone pays it – and no one owes a greater debt in that regard than these two floaters in the punchbowl that is the GOP – we’ll just get more of it. Destroy them, figuratively of course.

Solving Las Vegas Was Too Hard So Let’s Hassle Normals

If you still respect the FBI, wake the hell up. It’s a disaster, and the first GOP guy (or gal – count on Kristi! and Nikki! to jump on this bandwagon as soon as their genius consultants tell them its popular) to make defunding and dismantling this disgraceful agency a key plank in his platform is going to get a ton of support. Let the Democrats defend the Bureau as it increasingly gets its Stasi on. 

The hilarious kidnapping farce over the Stepford Governor – the one who looks like a frigid first wife whose husband leaves her for a sexy dental hygienist and never looks back – revealed that the majority of those involved were either informants or actual agents, including one who had been involved in an altercation with his spouse at a swinger party. Congrats, FBI. You can’t figure out how 60 folks got murdered. You can’t catch Chinese spies. You can’t stop mass pedos or mass shooters. You can’t not do your Dem masters’ bidding. But you can hook up a bunch of misfits in an invented conspiracy that never would have happened if you hadn’t set it all up.

I feel safer. Not.

I’d think I was paranoid, but I think these hacks are poking around conservative social media seeing if there are people they can entrap. I get weird DMs every once in a while. They seem off, awkward, and a bit on the nose of the fantasy insurrectionist construct the libs imagine. And they want to interact. I don’t. Nor should you. Maybe these are real nuts, but I’m not a nut, and would be crazy to trifle with them even if I were so inclined. And the same with you. The FBI will eagerly mount your head on the wall if you give it the chance. Do not interact with people online who are promoting anything iffy. Just don’t. And if the FBI asks to speak to you, you tell them “Not without my lawyer.”

Conservatives Can Do Culture Too

My sixth Kelly Turnbull action thriller, The Split, is finally out and it’s a bestseller, #1 in Political Fiction and reaching at least #42 in all of Amazon’s millions of titles. That’s less than 40 spaces behind Brad Thor’s latest (and it is also behind #35, something disconcertingly specific titled “SEAL Daddy: An Age Gap Secret Baby Pregnancy Romance,” which appears to be an entry in the “Forbidden Temptations” series).

Not bad for a conservative novel about what happens when America splits into red and blue countries. The series, which includes People's RepublicIndian CountryWildfireCollapse, and Crisis, is fun, but it is also instructive. There is a huge appetite for entertainment directed to normal, patriotic folks tired of woke crap. 

But the big entertainment companies are not going to try to satisfy that appetite. We were wrong when we thought that Hollywood, et al., only cared about money. It doesn’t – if it did, a major publishing house would have made me a big offer for my series and you’d be watching it on NetFlamazonlu. But no – what you do see are woke shows about the struggles of [FILL IN THE DESIGNATED VICTIM] against the bigotry that permeates society. Yawn.

I do get people talking to me about doing it, conservatives who want to make movies and some who have done it before. But no one’s written the check, and you’re not serious until you write a number with zeros behind it. I keep saying to these right-wing billionaires that if you want to win the fight, stop subsidizing Conservative, Inc., and start making films. But no – here’s another $1 million to squander, Cato Institute.

Until we pull our heads out and get back in the game, we’ll always be behind.

Oh, and stay tuned for my next volume, “Turnbull Daddy: An Age Gap Secret Baby Pregnancy Wilson Combat .45 Lib-Mocking Romance.”

My super-secret e-mail address is kurt.schlichter@Townhall.com.


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