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Every New Republican Is the Most Evil Republican Ever

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
Jesco Denzel/German Federal Government via AP

According to the Democrats, Donald Trump is literally Hitler or something, but rest assured that the next Republican to become a threat to their dominance will be Hitler2 because of course he will. Or she. Maybe it won’t be Ron DeSantis, who we will be told is Baal without the upside. Maybe the GOP will go insane, climb over my and other real conservatives’ dead bodies, and nominate pliable establishment shill-ette Nikki! Haley – and then she will promptly morph into Moloch. It’s just one of those things that simply is and cannot be denied – the sun rises in the east, Brian Stelter is a potato, and every Republican leader is a million times worse than the one who preceded him.


The corollary, liberal nostalgia for dead or exiled Republicans, is as predictable as it is tiresome. Chimpy McBu$Hitlerburton is tolerated now that he’s snuggling with the Obamas and Clintons, stabbing his loyal supporters in the back, and doing cheesy watercolors of veterans his grotesque incompetence got mutilated. All that unpleasantness about him being in on 9/11 is just a vaguely troubling memory from long ago. Some of us were actually alive when Ronald Reagan strode the earth, vanquishing America’s foes and causing mass liberal panty micturition, and we remember the slings and arrows these puny posers cast his way. But now he’s wonderful, being dead, and the Dems are getting warmed up to give Trump the same treatment. Pretty soon we’ll be hearing the victims of Ron DeSantis moaning, “I miss Donald Trump!”


Because, for the first time in recorded history – which, I am informed by smart people with degrees in Credential Studies from approved A1-level regime conformity factories, began in 1619 – liberals are right. Whoever comes after Trump will be on a scourge kick the likes of which would make Genghis Khan smile with approval like Robert Redford in that Jeremiah Johnson meme.

It’s often been said in this space that Trump was not us normal folks’ last chance but the elite’s last chance. They treated Trump like some radical, but they misunderstood him as they misunderstand so much else. Donald Trump was less a revolutionary than an eccentric with an inability to hide his contempt for his fellow caste members. He grew up and prospered in elite society, and he enjoyed it – as his myriad amorous adventures splashed across the cover of the NY Post testified. What made him dangerous is that he didn’t participate in the framework of Mutually Assured Discretion that keeps the members of our upper crust from telling the proles just how inept, corrupt, and unaccomplished our elite truly is. They know that they are a bunch of clowns, posers pretending to be the best and the brightest, and they work together – Democrats and Republicans – to preserve that status by not spilling the beans on how their class has none. They will tear each other up individually, but to blow the whistle on the establishment as a whole is a no-no.


But not Trump. They hated him not because he embraced a few conservative ideas. They hated him not even because of those mean tweets – they like meanness. No, they hated him because he told the forbidden truth. He told the terrible secret to those unwashed people out there in Americaland who make things for a living and sweat when they work, that our elite is not only not better than the plebs but is much, much worse in every sense.

Yet, Donald Trump did not want to destroy the ruling caste. At least until the end, he still maintained residual respect for its institutions. He might have accurately labelled it the “failing New York Times,” but at some level, he still thought he could win over Maggie Haberman and get a sweet write-up. He didn’t want to burn it all down; he just wanted to slap some of the swells around.

But the follow-up GOP base leader – whoever that is – is going to wreak havoc. And it will be glorious.

Because the truth is undeniable – our ruling caste is beyond salvage. Our institutions are beyond saving. The current conflict is really them holding on, fearfully, to power that is slipping through the fingers of their soft, girlish hands. The key indicator is their norm-breaking – the norms they touted for so long about free speech, due process, and self-determination were all fine right up until the outsiders started to use them to threaten the insiders’ positions and prestige. All these attacks on free speech are really desperate attempts to do by force what they can’t do by persuasion, and they can’t do it by persuasion anymore because they so completely and manifestly suck.


When you have to try to intimidate and gag your opponents, you aren’t winning. You are losing. And it might work for a while, but in the long-term you are only putting off your inevitable ejection from power. And ticking off their enemy – us – in the process.

Oh, we’ll have our vengeance.

The next victorious Republican – one will come even if we detour back to another squish for a cycle or so – will be ruthless. He will understand that the enemy is serious about holding on to power and that means holding us by our throats. He will understand that to win means to take the fight to them, to ignore the whining and howling and to impose fair election laws, free us to carry weapons, ban the cancer that is CRT, and do all the other things Democrats fear. And he will do it without the baggage and the mean tweets that let the left shift the argument from “Conservative Policy Good” to “Orange Man Bad.”

He will not care about earning their favor. He will care about payback. He will be woke, conservative woke, and for the first time in a long time, Democrats will be right about something, for they shall fear him.

Conservatives Must Stand Together and Fight. Join Townhall VIPAnd Check Out Last Week's Stream of Kurtiousness, Military Generals Aren't Conservatives, They're Socialists.

My sixth Kelly Turnbull action thriller, The Split, is coming in July. It’s got guns, liberal mockery, and more guns. America has split into red and blue nations, and our hero has to go back in and regulate. Prep by getting the most recent bestseller, Crisis, as well as my other four novels, People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, and Collapse


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