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OPINION

Expect Democrat Shenanigans, But Don’t Panic

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

The media is filled with stories about how the Democrats are planning to refuse to accept Donald Trump’s impending victory, with speculation about cheating, lawsuits, and the odd military coup. Leaving aside the bizarre notion that our troops are eager to risk their lives to kill their friends and family for the benefit of the liberal establishment and the military-industrial complex – which the Democrats have suddenly embraced as something awesome – in order to impose that creepy old weirdo from the basement upon America, the challenges are real but they are also overblown.

Don’t panic. Prepare. Work to get out the patriotic American vote. If we’re ready maybe this won’t descend into the chaos I describe in my novel/unintended documentary People's Republic.

Now, they will cheat. That’s baked in, and they are fully committed to it. That’s why they hate hate hate voter ID – it’s harder to cheat when you have to prove who you are. Voting-by-mail gets around that and offers all sorts of opportunities for mischief. They fully intend to try to leverage voting by mail to 1) get China virus paranoids and their usual lay-about voters to vote instead of just sitting home watching “Judge Judy,” and 2) manufacture the necessary votes to swing the election. The turnout issue is important to them because all the numbskulls driving their cars alone with masks on are all liberal. The Dems could have gone with explaining that going to vote for Biden confers immunity, just like rioting, but whatever. Now, the cheating aspect is another issue, but how great an impact cheating might have is open to question. 

Vote-by-mail is a Democrat thing, and it is generally Democrat states where it is happening. Take California, please. The Golden State, whose Democrat leadership recently bowed to pressure from the pervert lobby to lighten up on pedophiles, seems intent on mailing a ballot to every Tom, Dick, and – since Harry’s a liberal – Harry, Harry, Harry, and Harry. This could be a problem in some of the state’s contested House races, though Rep. Mike Garcia crushed the heiress to that icky throuple-having congresstramp in a special election earlier this year that was mostly by mail. Luckily, it’s not a problem in the presidential contest. Gee, Biden got 70 percent instead of 60 percent in Cali, so instead of 55 electoral votes, Biden gets 55 electoral votes. 

It is an issue in battleground states, like Michigan, Pennsylvania, and possibly Wisconsin, if the Democrats manage to remember that it exists this time around. The simple idea is to make up any deficit in the in-person voting tallies by coming up with ballots out of the blue cities to overturn the heavy red rural vote. But remember, there are time limits and procedures and we Republicans do have poll and count watchers (consider volunteering!). Yes, they will try to find some Hawaiian judge to rule that a guy in Ann Arbor who is not allowed to vote on November 25th is being cruelly deprived of his human rights, but we have lawyers too. In Iowa, we just disqualified thousands of shady ballots. We need to be aware of the points of vulnerability in the process, and we need to watch those kill zones like the soaring hawks of justice we are.

Pundit Larry Schweikart has brought up the possibility that vote-by-mail is a giant boomerang that could clobber the Dems. The disqualification rate for mail-in ballots is quite high compared to regular voting. There are timing gates and procedural requirements that can easily lead to a ballot getting tossed. How do I say this delicately? A key constituency within the Democrat Party is stupid people, and stupid people forget to mail their ballots, or lose them, or neglect to put on a stamp, or fail to sign the envelope, or scribble “ME LIKE OLD GUY NOT BAD ORANGE MAN” next to Grandpa Badfinger’s name instead of filling in the oval, or roll up some weed in the ballot and smoke it. Remember hanging chads? In 2000, Democrats put their chips on people who could not figure out how to punch a hole in a piece of construction paper. Going all-in on dummies is risky.

Ballot harvesting is one way they can try to address the deficiencies of the mental defectives who make up so much of the Democrat Party, but remember that it is illegal in most places. In California, the GOP is going to do it too this time – not because we Republicans are too stupid to vote right but because most of us are busy with jobs.

The best thing for us is to ensure our people go out and vote in-person. We’re trying to get a lot of new voters this time – folks who realize that Biden has them, their faith, their guns, and their trucks in the crosshairs – and the easiest way to ensure a vote is counted is to get them to walk into polling place and do their thing in person. Moreover, a huge election night lead provides a psychological barricade against the “count until we win” strategy. It makes the cheating look like cheating, which will be important because every media outlet will be assuring us that Trump’s victory is really a defeat. By the way, count on the networks refusing to project a winner election night no matter how badly Biden loses.

There will be other antics, like lawsuits, elector games, and no concession by Biden, who is likely to go down in history as a thinner but equally creepy Al Gore, forever wandering around his backyard insisting that the squirrels address him as “Mr. President.” It will be ugly, but it will be a lot less ugly if the vote is not close, if we deliver these leftist freaks the landslide defeat that they so richly deserve.

So, let’s do that.

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