Obama Meant to Do That: He Killed Detroit and Saved Al Qaeda

Posted: Aug 09, 2013 12:01 AM

Gosh, we just keep getting it wrong folks.

It seems that Obama meant something entirely different when he claimed that he killed bin Laden and saved Detroit.

Because, you know, like a lot of problems Obama has tried to tackle, the result has been the exact opposite of what we’ve been told.

In fact, Obama killed Detroit and saved Al Qaeda.

And it seems: he meant to do that, in the words of the immortal of poet of the Big Eighties, Pee Wee Herman.

But what can you expect from a guy who thinks the United States has 57 states, that port of Savannah resides on the Gulf of Mexico and China provides a model economy.

As community organizer, it seems, Obama rarely travelled outside of, say, West 26th Street and East 79th street in Chicago, at least mentally, politically and philosophically.

I’ll close Gitmo.

We don’t spy on Americans.

The economy is finally gaining traction.

Obamacare will reduce the deficit.

The new Egyptian government is democratic.

Welcome to Recovery Summer.

Green jobs are important to stimulate the economy.

We are not arming Al Qaeda.

Benghazi was a long time ago.

There is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe.

There is no sexual relationship.

I won’t bring up the point that the media rarely, if ever, calls Obama out on his faux pas… whoops, there I pointed it out and I didn’t mean to.

Ok, ok, I meant to do that.

Because there is a larger point here:  You cannot treat the truth like it’s flexible or pliable or moldable to fit your circumstances without an awful lot of stretching that goes into it.

Just ask Nancy Pelosi’s cosmetic surgeon. You can stretch around the edges as much as you want, but that only goes so far.

Right now the Democrats, as represented by Obama, are mostly stretch, and no substance. Not that the Republicans offer much more of an alternative.

If ever an epoch needed cosmetic surgery it would have to be the New Gilded Age of Bush-Clinton-Bush-Obama. The differences between the various administrations, consists in that of volume rather than in that of substance.

So both sides just keep stretching.

And now, more than ever before, we need to see real substantive differences between the parties. Alternating between operating systems Government 1.0 and Government 2.0 (Lite) is no way to run a country.

Never before in human history has so much money gone a’wastin’ by so few administrations.

“The bottom line is we’re not broke, there’s plenty of money, it’s just the government doesn’t have it,” says Rep Keith Ellison, ambassador from the Democratic People’s Republic of Minneapolis.

And in a way, he’s right.

It’s almost inconceivable to me that with all the money that the federal government has made available to public and private ventures in Michigan, especially with the money made available to the auto companies, that the city of Detroit, as a government entity, would be see a negligible benefit from it.

So, the question that I have is this: Where did this money go?

Auto companies most certainly are reaping the benefit from that money. The auto union is too.

The American people, understandably, took on face value the Biden-Obama claim that Detroit was saved because they paid the bill.

“Hey honey,” says a man over coffee in Overland Park, Kansas while reading the paper. “Didn’t we pay that ‘Saving Detroit’ bill this month?”

He did in fact pay it; and so did you, and so did I.

I have the receipts pasted to my refrigerator under a large magnet from Key West that says “Welcome to Margaritaville. Now, Pass the Salt.”

I remember paying that bill, and I bet you do too.

There’s only one explanation, then for the missing money: Al Qaeda must have stolen it.

And they meant to do that.

And so, it seems, did Obama.