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Obama's Animal Barn

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

While many waited for Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke to take the weight of the world markets on his Ivy League shoulders by declaring QE-4EVR-LOL!, the real economists at the Federal Reserve Bank in San Francisco came up with a more detailed explanation for the poor, dragging, sluggish U.S. economy.


What they found will astonish you.

And yes, this is a true story.

“[D]espite all the attention federal spending cuts and sequestration have received,” wrote Brian Lucking and Daniel Wilson in the FRBSF Economic Letter, “our calculations suggest they are not the main contributors to this projected drag [on U.S. GDP]. The excess fiscal drag on the horizon comes almost entirely from rising taxes. Specifically, we calculate that nine-tenths of that projected 1 percentage point excess fiscal drag comes from tax revenue rising faster than normal as a share of the economy.”

Let’s roll that again: “The excess fiscal drag on the horizon comes almost entirely from rising taxes.”

So, no to be outdone- amidst signs that the global economy is sputtering, with drooping economic forecasts for Asia, Europe and U.S. environs outside the D.C Beltway- Obama and his G8 pals stepped into the breach with a solution.

As this is a family publication, or at least a publication read by people who have families, I use the word “breach” to describe what they stepped into.

Others might use a more aromatic or pungent descriptor.


So anywho…. 

On a sunny day in Berlin, Obama stepped where many presidents have gone before, squinted into the sun, and bravely declared: “Give back that ring, Mr. Putin. Ich bin ein Patriot!”


Ha, ha, ha.

Ok. He really didn’t say that.

He wasn’t THAT brave. Obama ist kein Patriot.

Instead Mr. Obama and his G8 posse of poseurs addressed the collapse of their carefully crafted, worldwide economy by saying: “Hey. Let’s tax the economy some more.”

Really. That’s what they said. Again this is a true story.

At a time when the chair of the Federal Reserve Bank is using the economic equivalent of chicken wire and duct tape to keep the economy going- that is, U.S. government-backed mortgage securities- Obama and his G8 thugs are proposing that they can make us chickens more productive by taking more of our eggs.

“Publicity over the low taxes paid on foreign profits by American multinationals such as Apple, Google and Starbucks,” reports the Economist, “has propelled tackling tax avoidance up the political agenda in the G8, including in Britain, the summit’s host. So it came as no surprise that there were several potentially significant pledges on tax in the final communiqué, including that: “tax authorities across the world should automatically share information to fight the scourge of tax evasion.” 

Notice how tax “avoidance” became tax “evasion” in just under fifty words?

Yeah, governments know how to do that.That's why companies like Cisco are moving overseas. "The U.S. tax system is broken," said Cisco CEO John  Chambers, who said he won't be hiring in the U.S.  "We have waited for four years for this almost $50 billion that we have got overseas to come back. We are assuming that is not going to happen."


He continued: "I am a proud American company, probably one of the very few high-tech companies that is big and has been around for 25 years, and still has the majority of our employees in the U.S."

Well Obama and the rest of them will show you.

Because it’s not just governments that are supporting the plan to tax everything, everywhere, not matter where.

Grassroots groups complete with replica Viking ships, four color sails, life-like, friendly masks of our fearless G8 leaders and seemingly an unlimited theatrical budget- groups which I’m sure have NO connection to any government or any organization supported by government tax money- are demanding that our leaders take action NOW against fiendish un-American, American companies like Apple Computers and Starbucks who cause hunger worldwide.

Apparently it’s not enough that Apple Computer supports over 600,000 jobs in the U.S.

They are also responsible for hunger worldwide.

“Impoverished countries could eliminate poverty by 2025 if they received back just a quarter of the money currently lost to tax-dodging multinational companies [like Apple],” said the Viking-laden, four-colored, fully governmental grassroots group Enough Food IF campaign whose FAQ page includes this burning question: “Where can I get the IF-branded merchandise I’ve seen celebrities wearing?”


They apparently even have a “pop-up tropical tax haven on London's South Bank [near where the G8 summit is held]…. complete with shady businessmen, giant palm trees, and a treasure chest.”

Because in the real world that’s what tax shelters really look like.

And governments collect money to end hunger too.

Thanks for stepping into that “breach” grassroots-Viking dudes.


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