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OPINION

Hillary's Email Presser Body Language: I’ve Seen Crystal Meth Tweakers Exhibit Fewer Tics 

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Did you see the Hilldebeest during last week’s UN presser try to pawn off on us po’ rubes that she didn’t break any email rules during her stint as Secretary Of State and that we … we … are actually uncouth for even questioning her “integrity”?
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That spiel was chocked-full of more deuces than a colicky baby’s diaper. A myopic Cyclops could see that. My Jack Russell was even hip to her deception and walked up to the massive Restoration Hardware steamer trunk that our TV sits on and whizzed all over it during her entire twenty-one minute and five-second Bullcrapalooza rebuke.

By the way, my dog Ruger has never done that before. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Look, I'm no body language expert. Tonya Reiman I am not. But even the cloudiest amongst us could tell Hillary was flinging more scat that day than a cat trying to bury diarrhea in wet sand.

One thing I noticed, as she lied out of her tail pipe to the nation, was how she looked all over the room, like Stevie Wonder playing the piano and singing "Isn’t She Lovely." When I was a drug dealer during my college days, my buddy ‘Itchy’, who was a crystal meth tweaker, did a better job of keeping it together as he conned his mom into believing he was on Benadryl than the Hilldebeest did trying to bamboozle us plebeians that she’s clean.

Good Lawd, woman, that was some pathetic bunkum-spewing. Take some lessons from Bill, why don’t ‘cha?

You could tell from her physiological tics that she didn’t even believe herself; and I bet when she got back to her limo, and got the door shut on the Towncar, she let out a fusillade of F-bombs that would make Andrew Dice Clay proud.
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Oh, speaking of Tonya Reiman she said the following via Facebook regarding the Hilldebeest’s UN Lie Fest:

So to say the least with this news conference, Hillary showed all the signs of anxiety and frustration. She shrugged with her mouth, hands and shoulders, she stuck her tongue out a few times, she displayed contempt when asked questions and she rarely held eye contact. She wrung her hands, fidgeted back and forth and even had a few brief pitch rises when answering questions. As one of you noted in a post, you didn't need me to look at this in order to discern discomfort …

Now before you disparage me as being part of the vast right-wing conspiracy that always views Hillary’s actions with a jaundiced eye, which I do, please allow me to point out that the AP, hardly a conservative source, gave her email diatribe five middle fingers. You can check out the Associated Press’s assessment here.

Not only did the AP rain on her latest charade, but TIME Magazine has her on its cover sporting horns on top of her deceiving noggin; and TIME definitely is not The Weekly Standard.

Here’s my advice to Hillary. Hillary, honey… you’re a horrible liar. As in bad, real bad. You’re also pathetic in the art of blame-shifting. So… next time, and I’m sure it’ll be soon, that you have to con the American public, use Bill. He’s a phenomenal BS artist. You know that. He can bite his bottom lip, earnestly point his thumb, shed a tear, parlay that southern drawl, bear hug an intern, bomb a Sudanese aspirin factory, buy drinks for the “journalists” and then invite everyone over to Hooters for a wet T-shirt contest – and BOOM … the problem is solved.
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More and more people, both left-right-and-center, are onto Hillary “Benghazi” Clinton and are getting sick of Clinton, Inc. However, there are the stage-four clingers for whom she still can do no wrong. I believe these splooge-brained droogies of the Ludicrous Left are so desperate to have Hillary and implement her worldview -- a worldview, mind you, that has failed everywhere it has been executed -- that Hillary could stand nude, on the chest of the Pope, drinking blood from the slit throat of a wombat while screaming the contents of Mein Kampf, and they would hail her as a poet … an incarnate zeitgeist … here to build their utopia. A utopia, fair reader, that’s one part Lilith Fair Concert with a dash of the Ellen DeGeneres Show with a communist bouillabaisse.

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