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OPINION

Harvard 2024

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AP Photo/Mark Schiefelbein

Harvard’s president was a disaster in her testimony before Congress. The time has come to update the curriculum to reflect Harvard’s new direction.



President Claudine Gay of Harvard and her two colleagues from the University of Pennsylvania and MIT did the US a big favor. Their disastrous testimony in which they refused to condemn campus antisemitism and tried to parse the actions of their genocide-seeking students and faculty finally put to rest a long-running national debate. For decades, women have fought for equal rights. And here we had three women presidents of extremely powerful American universities and they were incoherent, indecisive, and ignorant of what their Jewish students are experiencing. Congresswoman Elise Stefanik (R, The Rest of America) hammered them with legitimate questions about the antisemitic words and behavior of their students and staff, and time after time they refused to condemn it or say that demanding the genocide of 8.5 million Jews in Israel violated school policy. We now finally have proof that women, including a black woman, are as lousy as men in top positions. Dr. Gay can compete with Neil Rudenstein and Larry Summers for mediocrity as purported leaders of Harvard.

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In light of Dr. Gay’s testimony, I propose that Harvard add some new courses to properly reflect the student body and the faculty with their woke, intersectional view of the world. Here are my proposals.



1. Harvard Stadium should be renamed ISIS Field.



2. Harvard should offer the following new courses:



Moral Reasoning 28: Context. This course, taught by Dr. Claudine Gay, will look at the context in which one may threaten to kill his, her or xir roommate without fear of punishment from Harvard. Dr. Gay will focus on intonation, timing, and specific wording for allowed genocidal activities, and give clear examples of forbidden “actionable” behavior that might involve a machete, machine gun, or grenade.



Psychology 314: How to Identify a Jew. It would be a shame for a Harvard student to threaten with death someone who is not Jewish. With Jews living in America since before the founding of the country, it is becoming harder and harder to identify them. This course aims to give insightful tips to make sure that if you are threatening to kill your roommate, that you’ve got the right person.



Geography 211: From the River to the Sea. The course will investigate in detail the topology and features of the land stolen by colonial Israelis from the poor Palestinians who were minding their own business. The course will try to determine if the eastern border is from the middle, left or right side of the Jordan River, while there will be an intense focus on climate change eroding the Mediterranean border and thus, once again, depriving Palestinians of their ancestral lands due to the actions of white people.

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Astronomy 223: The Whiteness of Stars. Ibram X. Kendi, on permanent loan from Boston University, will ask penetrating questions as to why the stars in the heavens all appear white. Are there black and brown stars being hidden from our view? The course will delve into the pain experienced by black astronomers by the white privilege expressed by the stars.



Visual and Environmental Studies 128: Rooftops. This seminar will be offered in conjunction with Birzeit University in Ramallah. The course will focus on roofs used for throwing off homosexuals, infidels, and criminals in Islamic history. A focus will be when the practice started, and what was done when tall buildings were not available. The discussion will delve into building type, height, trajectory, and final speed of impact. The course will be offered on the roof of William James Hall with an optional lab for members of "Trans for Palestine".



Sports Medicine 515: Injuries in Women’s Sports. Since trans women have been allowed to participate in women’s sports, there has been a surprising increase in the number and severity of injuries to biological women athletes. No cause for this behavior has been determined. We will look at field conditions, athlete conditioning, and weather to try to find a reason for increased injury of women, a phenomenon that no one to date has properly explained.

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Prenatal Medicine 400: How to Identify a “Birthing Person”. The course tries to find the common thread that joins birthing people throughout the world. It is a mystery how both some men and women can give birth while others cannot, and the Nobel Prize winning faculty will try to decide if there are any common features to birthing people of the different sexes.



Harvard has dropped the mask of being an institution of higher learning. It is an old-fashioned Marxist indoctrination center. Many people are calling for Dr. Gay’s resignation or firing. But she was a DEI choice, as per Bill Ackman, and exactly what Penny Pritzker and her colleagues on the Harvard Corporation wanted. Meritocratic choices have not always succeeded—look at Kennedy’s “Best and Brightest”. But when the driving force for choosing a university president, pilot, doctor, or the like is color or sex and not ability, don’t be surprised by mediocrity or worse. Our brave university presidents have proven that they are as awful, intellectually dull, and indecisive as some of their male predecessors and counterparts.


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