Mike Adams

I can hardly wait for this part of the class because the readings are both godly and scholarly. For example, students read “The Queer God” by Marcella Althaus-Reid. Later, they read an article by Howard Eilberg-Schwartz, which is in “God’s Phallus and Other Problems for Men and Monotheism.” Mark Jordan’s “The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology” also makes the list. But the highlight of the readings is none other than professor Laurel Schneider’s article “What Race is Your Sex?”

I thought about writing a rebuttal to Schneider’s article called “How Tall is Your Age?” But I decided to call it “What color are your brain farts?”

By session nine of “Queer Theories and Theologies” the student is expected to formulate a central question or thesis statement for a project, which constitutes 30% of the final course grade. Mine will take the form of a final paper called “Why Queers Enter the Ministry.”

Some years ago, a man asked for my opinion on why his good friend, an atheist, had decided to go to Yale Divinity School. I told him that the Enemy could do more harm trying to destroy an institution from within than from without.

And so it is with the so-called GLBT (Gilbert) movement. The Gilbert has equal rights. He is not fighting for anything. He is only seeking to destroy anyone or anything that will not validate him. That is why only 4% of gays who live in states giving them a “right” to get married actually do get married. They do not seek to enjoy marriage. They seek to destroy marriage. All because it denies them validation.

Originally, all Unitarians and Universalists were Christians who didn't believe in the Holy Trinity of God but, instead, in the unity of God. Later, they stressed the importance of “rational thinking” and the “humanity” of Jesus. Since the merger of the two denominations in 1961, Unitarian Universalism has emphasized “social justice.” Hence the interest in the Gilbert movement.

We live in a time when Gilberts are invading Christian denominations in an effort to destroy their core Christian beliefs. I intend to enroll in Meadville-Lombard Theological School in order to reverse this trend and bring the Unitarians and Universalists back to Christianity.

I want to set them straight, so to speak. I want to save them before their symbol, the flaming chalice, is replaced by a flaming phallus.


Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.