Humberto Fontova

“What?! Just look at this article’s title! Here’s typical Cuban- exile, Mc Carthyite, crackpot right-wing, Republican lunacy! Bourdain’s show is on The Travel Channel, for crying out loud! On the July 12th episode of his No Reservations , they ran a show where Bourdain traveled to Cuba highlighting the food, people, sights and sounds, etc. —like he does while traveling all over the world. What’s wrong with that? You Cuban-exiles are beyond hopeless! Get a grip—and finally join the 21st Century. Geesh! “

Allow me to calmly explain: neck to neck with Hugo Chavez’ subsidies Castro’s Stalinist regime lives off tourism. And Cuba’s Intelligence and Military sector owns 80 per cent of the Tourist Industry, as documented to Congress by retired Defense Intelligence Agency Cuba analyst, Lieut. Col. Chris Simmons. Henceforth, yet another Travel Channel infomercial (Zimmern visited in 2009) for Cuba was a godsend to the Stalinist nomenklatura—especially right now with their Venezuelan Sugar- Daddy in perilous health.

Those charming, smiling hosts who escorted Bourdain around Castro’s fiefdom were all regime apparatchiks. Immediately upon applying for his Cuban visa, well before Bourdain even set foot in Cuba, Castro’s intelligence had Bourdain completely sussed and his future escorts completely briefed. The procedure started the day he applied for Cuban visa, as also explained by Lieut. Col. Christopher Simmons. That your official “guides” while officially visiting a Communist nation were regime apparatchiks was common knowledge even to proto-imbeciles all during the Cold War. Bourdain was born in 1956.

“Big deal! So who’s this Simmons guy?! Some Birther- Bircher-Crackpot you rich Republican Cuban exiles pay off!”

Humberto Fontova

Humberto Fontova holds an M.A. in Latin American Studies from Tulane University and is the author of four books including his latest, The Longest Romance; The Mainstream Media and Fidel Castro. For more information and for video clips of his Television and college speaking appearances please visit