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OPINION

The Progressive Progression: Content of Character, Color of Skin, Cup Size

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Once again President Barack Obama has taken center stage in order to wag his finger at his predecessors-- and at you and me. Never mind that, combined, we only created the greatest country in the history of mankind; a country that has striven to judge a man by the content of his character rather than the color of his skin... and has largely succeeded.

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We’ve succeeded in part because free market economics pays no attention to skin color.

The issue now from the Great Finger-Wagger is the so-called gender pay gap between males and females.

We've apparently got it all wrong in this country.

While we were busy ignoring skin color, we forgot to pay attention to cup size.

As a consequence, women can be pandered to, manipulated and driven to outrage-- the usual Democrat fits of hysterics that stand in for policy.

Fortunately, Democrats have got the great constitutional lawgiver, the greatest president in the history of the Milky Way and former Accidental College two-time student of the week winner to help us overturn 238 years of history and common sense.

Where would we be without you, oh, Noah of the New Nation?

The law in the United States says that males and females must be paid equally for equal work.

That’s how it should be.

American trial lawyers, amongst others, who are all wholly-owned Democrat subsidiaries, enforce this law. Trial lawyers make a very good living suing companies that discriminate in the workforce on the basis of sex.

A portion of that revenue goes to Democrat campaign coffers.

It's kind of like a franchise agreement between trial lawyers and Democrats. The corporate headquarters in Washington DC writes all the policies, the local franchises in the form of trial lawyers collect the money, and a portion of that money goes back to the corporate headquarters.

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It's bigger than McDonald's and, under this administration, they also have a goofy clown to promote their wares.

But despite these adequate remedies in law when it comes to gender and pay issues, human nature, the economy, and sociological forces ensure that women, as a whole, make less than men.

Women, owing to the pressures of raising a family, often spend less time on their careers than men do. So they make less money, as a whole.

And there are a host of other forces at work too that create the supposed gender pay gap, all of which are too familiar to us to bear repeating here.

But, you know what happens when human nature, the economy, and sociological forces mess with a Democrat core constituency.

That's when the Democrat Social Justice Leaguers change into their formfitting leotards, take the crinkle out of their capes, and don their red platform boots.

And that's just what the male Justice Leaguers do.

As our contributor Shawn Mitchell put it on his Facebook wall as I was writing this: “My fellow Americans,” says the president springing into action, wearing, at least rhetorically, the big red boots, “I really can't defend my miserable record on jobs and stagnation. Let’s talk about something else. Did you know an economy with too many part time beauticians and full time engineers really skews the male/female income curve? It’s outrageous. Republicans hate women.”

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And for this game I blame women themselves.

Really I do.

Women elected Barack Obama and then reelected him by the widest margin in history. Take credit gals.

If women really wanted to close the gender gap, the only number that counts going forward is how many of them vote for the next clown the Democrats nominate for anything.

Because, while the rest of us will be busy ignoring skin color and cup sizes in 2016, I have a feeling that for some women, that’s all they’ll be thinking of by then.

And that's the real gender gap in this country that we need to work on.

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