I bet Jim Jones is tooling around hell right now green with envy over the mind manipulation the global warming greenies are wielding upon our culture.

We’ve got green jobs, green cars, green dogs, green houses, green toilet paper and environmentally friendly green condoms. Everything now must become green or it is gone, mama. I’m sure Kermit the frog, iguanas, the Grinch, the Creature from the Black Lagoon and Gumby are seriously ticked off regarding the liberal alarmists’ hysterical hijacking of the color they have previously owned, loved and profited from for so many years.

I’m an oil painter, and as an artist I, naturally, love colors—all kinds of colors—but not anymore. Because of the global warming alarmists, as of right now, I officially hate the color green (nothing personal, green). I’m just sick of hearing about you. You are everywhere. It’s that whole overexposure thing . . . that Kathie Lee Gifford, incessant yacking about Cody and Cassidy mind numbing malaise that just the mention of your name now spawns.

Because of the sick amount of cash involved, both sides of the political aisle have drunk so much of the Global Warming Kool-Aid that they are peeing green, and if we the sheeple don’t lock step to these unhinged fascist demands then we’re the devil, Bobby Boucher.

There are several things that get me heated up over the global warmers’ hyperventilated horse smack. It’s stuff like:

- The specious science the global warblers put forth which establishes truth not by facts but through non-stop repetition.

- How the taxpayer dollar is floating this flotsam to the tune of $6 billion a year. That’s more than we send to the National Cancer Institute and to AIDS research.

- The Gestapoesque censorship of “dissenters” and “deniers” of the global warming “facts” by the greenies. God help you if you don’t parrot their apocalyptic projections. If you don’t believe me, just ask the “climate criminals” NASA chief Michael Griffin and NYT bestselling author Christopher Horner. Yep, if science is your field and you don’t inhale what the alarmists are trying to sell then you are SOL regarding a J-O-B.

- Actors in Hollywood who won’t hump a tree and trade in their H2 for a Huffy might as well slap a Bush/Cheney sticker on their truck and drive back to wherever the heck they hail from.

- College students who dare to question their panic-stricken prof’s apocalyptic predictions will endure more scorn than a nice old Christian lady holding a Styrofoam cross at a gay activist rally.

- Everything is now being blamed on global warming from summer frost in Africa, freezing penguin chicks, poorly rising bread dough, impoverished fashion houses and the recent economic downturn suffered by Bulgarian whorehouses. Continued...