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Rest in Peace, Chronicles of Narnia

Hollywood has become little more than a swarm of locusts with publicists. They've swarmed through beloved IP after beloved IP, only to consume what made those IPs timeless and beloved to fans, leaving behind empty husks. They then don those husks like a skin suit to "recreate" things like Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings, and other classic tales for "modern audiences." Even The Wizard of Oz isn't safe from such woke reimagining.

The next target is the C.S. Lewis classic "The Chronicles of Narnia," which is being reimagined by Barbie writer-director Greta Gerwig. The first contemporary film adaptation of the Lewis series, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, was a modest box office success, earning almost $750 million on a budget of $180 million (the rule of thumb is that a movie earns three times its budget to turn a profit). It was largely well-received by fans and critics with a 6.9/10 on IMDb and 76 percent favorable ratings on Rotten Tomatoes.

That adaptation remained relatively faithful to the source material. It's very clear that Gerwig's version will not.

"This is not your mother's or grandmother's Narnia," says IMAX CEO Rich Gelfond.

That's a big brag for a woman who, while successful with Barbie, has few other credits to her name. 

Here's more:

IMAX staged its inaugural Investors Day in New York, where CEO Rich Gelfond unveiled new information about Netflix and Greta Gerwig’s upcoming adaptation of “The Magician’s Nephew,” set to debut next November (via NarniaWeb).

Most surprising, Gelfond explained that Gerwig is steering “Narnia” toward a modern, guitar-driven vibe, pointing to bands like Pink Floyd and The Doors as reference points for the film’s overall sound. The score is being handled by Mark Ronson, fresh off his work on “Barbie.” This direction parallels what producer Amy Pascal stated in 2024, when she said the project was rooted in the spirit of “rock and roll.”

This is a real blockbuster movie that’s being made for [IMAX and Netflix] and you know, I guess I do have to talk a little about why I’m so excited about it. This is not your mother’s or your grandmother‘s Narnia. The music in it is unbelievably contemporary music, which IMAX fans like. I’m not gonna say specifically, but things like Pink Floyd and The Doors. You know that kind of music which people go to see in IMAX.

Despite pushback from many exhibitors, Gelfond is very confident in what he’s seen so far, saying that Gerwig’s film — and IMAX — is “really going to change the world” and “create a cultural event.”

Of course, Hollywood would never create a Narnia faithful to the source materials these days. The Narnia series is deeply rooted in Christian theology, with C.S. Lewis imagining Aslan as a Christ-like figure who created and saved the fictional world of Narnia. 

"The Magician's Nephew", the sixth book in the Narnia series, portrays Aslan creating that world by singing it into existence, a direct echo of the Bible's book of Genesis. The themes of sacrifice, forgiveness, courage, and destiny — while based in Christian theology — also resonate with broader audiences.

All of that is being done away with in favor of Gerwig's "modern, guitar-driven vibe" because modern Hollywood cannot tolerate or honor stories written by white Christian men like C.S. Lewis. In fact, there are rumors that Meryl Streep is being tapped to voice Aslan. You know, the Christ-like figure in Narnia. Because nothing says "modern audiences" like making Jesus a chick.

For years, Hollywood has destroyed beloved stories in pursuit of remaking them for "modern audiences." Those modern audiences don't exist, of course. If they did, Hollywood wouldn't be hemorrhaging cash because those audiences would go to the cinema to see the slop on the silver screen. But what Hollywood is trying to do is create modern audiences by retconning stories like Narnia or the works of Jane Austen. That way, they can erase the original stories and pretend "Pride & Prejudice" was always woke in some way. In short, they're trying to erase our collective memory so future generations will not realize just how rich our literary and cinematic history actually was.

This is because the Left can't create. They are so mired in political lenses and creating a political message in all forms of art that creating something original, something good and entertaining, absolutely escapes them. So, because they cannot create, they take over works created by far more talented people, and they destroy them. And the destruction is the point, because it's the only explanation for why studios continuously throw good money after bad and hemorrhage cash. They believe losing money is worth it if it means upending our culture and forever damaging Austen, Shakespeare, Tolkien, and the rest.

Sadly, Lewis and his Narnia are the next targets, and there isn't a doubt in my mind that Gerwig is going to take the classic work and turn it into a steaming pile of garbage.

Perhaps it will be a "cultural event" in that it unites all of us in hating it and not watching it.