Tipsheet

PETA Thinks It's Figured Out a Way to Convince Men to Go Vegan

PETA — which we're told is not a group of People for the Eating of Tasty Animals — is launching a nationwide campaign urging women to withhold sex from their husbands and boyfriends until they stop eating meat, because of course PETA is. Thanks to the mess that is intersectionality, PETA is also saying its efforts will help mitigate what it says is a "climate catastrophe."

"Because men apparently don’t give a f**k about the planet, as a new study shows that males contribute significantly more to the climate catastrophe than females through their higher consumption of meat, PETA is asking people to stop giving a f**k—literally—by withholding sex from their meat-eating husbands and boyfriends until they go vegan," a release from PETA whines. 

The group will be placing ads promoting its latest inane effort "across the country."

PETA, which believes "animals are not ours to eat" and "every animal is someone," is taking a page from the radical climate alarmist playbook in calling for the end of animal agriculture. The group smears operations that produce the protein-rich meat on which Americans rely "a killer, spewing methane that's destroying the planet" in its latest announcement. 

To end animal agriculture, PETA says it "urges lovers everywhere to ditch deadly meat and reach for vibrant vegan foods instead and has free downloadable vegan starter kits for everyone ready to make the switch." How nice. 

Citing the United Nations — which apparently conducts activities beyond demonizing Israel and empowering tyrannical dictators — PETA claims that "about a third of human-caused greenhouse gas emissions are linked to food production and the largest percentage of these emissions come from the meat and dairy industries" while "growing water-intensive crops just to feed animals raised for food consumes more than half the water used in the U.S." 

By PETA's count, each new vegan they convert "spares nearly 200 animals every year and reduces their own risk of suffering from cancer, heart disease, strokes, diabetes, and obesity." Each new vegan also greatly reduces their risk of feeling joy or fulfillment in their daily lives.

Never mind, apparently, that going vegan deprives a person of needed nutrients that can increase the risk of certain cancers, muscle wasting, bone fractures, anemia, and hair loss.   

If you're not convinced yet, or perhaps are confused about why PETA thinks humans are the only creatures on the planet that shouldn't be allowed to consume meat, you might try referencing the group's handy "Empathy Kit." Or don't.