Editor's Note: This column was authored by Dr. Stephen Smoot, of Young America's Foundation.
Newsweek rhetorically asked America recently, “Why are Obama’s critics (read conservatives) so dumb?” We have to admit that we do fall short of our erudite betters on the Left in the field of expression. Why can’t conservatives rise to their enlightened level of discourse? What is most galling to me is the fact that we cannot even come up with our own witty attacks. Our most visible conservative has to stoop to copying our intellectual betters!
Such as when David Letterman referred to Sarah Palin as a “slut” in June of 2009. Or when Cloris Leachman did the same in November of 2010. Could we not have broken new ground like Bill Maher when he used an unspeakable “c” word to refer to the former vice presidential nominee? If only our pundits could come up with high level banter as Charlie Sheen, who called Palin a “whore?" At least Ed Schultz took the high road in 2008 by merely referring to her as a “bimbo.”
Of course then he outdid we silly conservatives by identifying Laura Ingraham as a “talk slut.” Now that is a rare bit of syntax genius!
Michelle Bachmann also serves as a muse of inspiration to the elevated expression of the liberal camp, such as when Jimmy Fallon’s show played a song called “Lyin’ A__ B____” to welcome her to his program. The Democratic Underground blog outdid them all when it exclaimed that the congresswoman and presidential candidate was a “Bible whore on crack!”
To use the old SAT anagram form, conservatives are to Townhall as leftists are to Rolling Stone. Each group has their own intellectual destination from which they gain their deepest political insights and peruse deep thinking discussion on current issues. Shame on you, Townhall! Take a lesson from Rolling Stone on how to conduct debate! Rolling Stone’s lapidary description of Ann Coulter as a “Skanky B____ Whore” is a model of scholarly expression. Mark the passing of famed liberals as they did with Andrew Breitbart: “Death of a Douche.”
Leftism even serves up cultivated prose to describe their own. Witness the uncommonly astounding verbiage of Chris Matthews as he called Hillary Clinton at any given time a “she-devil,” “strip-teaser,” witchy,” Madame Defarge,” “Nurse Ratched,” and men who supported her (including, presumably, her husband) “castratos.”
And, let us not forget the left wing’s inspired description of the most effective non party political movement in generations, the Tea Party. We need not repeat the term they used. I am sure that they stole it straight from Dickens or Shakespeare.
I will avoid any possibility of seeming eristic and cede the intellectual floor to my left-wing superiors. And comfort myself with the fact that we conservatives have such poor examples in comparison, such as William F. Buckley or George Will. Dirige nos Domine! Di meliora!
Dr. Stephen Smoot is the Academic Director of the National Journalism Center, a project of Young America’s Foundation.