Once again, the world waits as Robin of Bernanke, his band of Merry Men, and a few women, meet in the depths of Sherwood Forest (Washington, DC) for another historic adventure.
Robin, however, has decided to forgo the time honored tradition of “robbing from the rich and giving to the poor” by reversing his actions, thereby robbing from the poor and giving to the rich.
With speed and daring, our hero could have announced the continuation of the zero interest rate policy (ZIRP), guaranteed to make the poor peasants withdraw their few remaining shekels from the money lenders and give them to the trade merchants in order to generate some semblance of a return on their money.
Otherwise, Robin of Bernanke could just keep buying bonds which only supports the landed gentry without aiding the indentured servants.
On the other hand, he could announce an all-out attack by flooding the countryside with newly minted sovereigns.
This action would lead to higher pork, beef, and fruit and vegetable prices, all for the benefit of the nobility at the expense of the commoner.
Observing all this exciting action from afar is Robin of Bernanke’s former arch enemy, Prince John (Mario Draghi). Since Robin has come to embrace the nobility, he has become the compatriot of Europe’s most questionable leader.
Prince John also finds himself in the position of robbing from the poor to give to the rich. Though not quite as experienced as his neighbor Robin, the Prince is certainly looking into the tried and true method of buying bonds, buying more bonds, and buying even more bonds.
As each man must control his own kingdom, both of them can take solace in the fact that it is his kingdom to control because neither kings nor kingmakers can influence as dramatically as Robin and the Prince.
The initial reaction of the court jesters (mainstream media) will be one of merriment and adulation, until it is realized that the so-called peasantry will continue to be hurt by both Robin of Bernanke’s and Prince John’s actions.
Ultimately, the nobility will come to realize that it is the commoner who supports the lords and the demise of the commoner can only lead to death for the nobility. However, English folklore was never meant for the bad guys to win in the end.
The Prince’s future was written the moment he ascended to the throne, and now, it seems Robin of Bernanke is in the very same situation. It is truly sad that we all long for better days.
Alas, this Robin is called Bernanke, not Hood. Oh, well.