OPINION

Capitalism: A Big Fat Smelly Love Story

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Michael Moore says he’s a Christian. I think he’s an ungrateful hypocrite who makes millions of dollars lying and defaming real Christians without blinking or, for that matter, shaving. He rarely checks his facts and, like John Edwards, has charged as much as $30,000 to speak out against capitalism and poverty for a whole hour. But at least he didn’t father an illegitimate child while his wife was suffering from cancer. Remaining perpetually un-bathed does have some advantages.

Going Rogue by Sarah Palin FREE

But enough about Michael Moore’s good qualities. One of Moore’s worst qualities is that he supports a 70% income tax rate, which would virtually destroy charitable giving in this country. Let me be clear: No man who would implement tax policies that would virtually destroy charitable giving can call himself a Christian. And few Christians can fulfill their duty to tithe when faced with a 70% tax burden.

Christian capitalists are the backbone of this great Christian nation. Take my good friend Jim Weaver. His wife quit a well-paying position last year to take care of their three small children. They are living off of one income now. But that hasn’t changed Jim’s commitment to using the money derived from the greatest economic system ever devised – capitalism, not socialism – to help others in need.

He gives 5% of his gross business profits to my friend Pastor Jackson from Kenya. You may know the story of Pastor Jackson. He felt a calling to build a mission seeking to take young boys off the streets of Kenya, to give them a home, and to teach them about the Gospel. He had an overwhelming sense that a small church in North Carolina was somehow supposed to help him fulfill that mission. So he sold his car to buy a plane ticket to go to America and visit these people he had never met.

The capitalists that run the church – mostly white males, I hear - decided to pledge 10% of their offerings to his mission. And now, driven by capitalist profits - and not a cent of government money - the mission is thriving. The man who sold his car to get to America has built a new school for the boys. They just bought a new school bus. They even decided to open up a new school for girls.

Around the time Pastor Jackson was taking his leap of faith, Michael Moore was harassing Charlton Heston – a Christian suffering from Alzheimer’s – with abrasive questions for an award-winning documentary. I think it was called “Bowling for the Special Olympics” but I could be wrong. I never check my facts when I’m writing about Michael Moore. I didn’t even take a shower today.

When Michael Moore did his “Fahrenheit 911” documentary he featured an anti-war group in Fresno that had been infiltrated by local police. Soon, the ACLU was teaming with Moore to come to the aid of the anti-war radicals. Imaging that: America’s biggest (literally) Christian teamed up with the organization that has done more to exclude Christians from the public square than any in our Christian nation’s history.

By contrast, my capitalist friend Jim Weaver also gives 5% gross profits to the Alliance Defense Fund – the greatest defenders of Christian legal rights in our Christian nation’s history. If Michael Moore doesn’t believe me here’s some evidence that not all capitalists are greedy and uncharitable.

While Michael Moore is teaming with the ACLU, the profits derived from my buddy’s capitalist risk-taking will defend another Californian who had his First Amendment rights violated. I wonder whether Michael Moore will give any of the millions made in his last (capitalist?) venture to help Jonathan Lopez.

Surely Michael Moore has heard of Jonathan Lopez. He was the student given a chance to speak on any topic whatsoever in his class at Los Angeles Community College (LACC). He decided to speak about God and miracles. In that speech, he quoted two Bible verses and expressed his support for traditional marriage. His instructor halted the speech, called him a “fascist b*stard,” and, remarkably, refused to give him a grade.

After his instructor wrote “ask God what your grade is” on his evaluation sheet – instead of actually giving Jonathan a grade in the class he paid for – he contacted the Alliance Defense Fund (ADF). Lawyers for the ADF contacted the LACC administration. They tried to explain that a public school cannot ban as “offensive” the view that marriage should be reserved for one man and one woman. But the school brazenly stood behind its patently illegal speech code. LACC administrators then flippantly told ADF lawyers who they could call in order to serve papers.

In other words, LACC dared ADF to sue them. So ADF sued them. And, now, the LACC speech code has been nullified with a federal court injunction. This victory was made possible by small business men, like Jim Weaver, who take capitalist risks and use the profits to help fellow Christians in need.

If Michael Moore succeeds he will destroy the capitalist choice to give, which is necessary to qualify any act as charitable. Even liberals will lose the freedom to donate money to their favorite causes – such as saving the delta smelt and terminating their girlfriend’s pregnancies.