OPINION

Hate Mail 2009

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Dr. Adams: I noticed you haven’t run a column featuring your hate mail in quite some time. What’s up with that? --Dave

Congratulations, Dave! Your email is the lead-in for my latest hate mail column. I hope you enjoy it … even if you don’t hate me! --Mike

To be a Conservative one must have a mental disorder! A Conservative is defined as a person that has 2 perfectly good legs but has never learned to walk forward. --Arnold

Arnold, most liberals wouldn't have learned to walk upright if stores hadn't started putting beer on the top shelf. --Mike

Mr. [sic] Adams, You [sic] column on mental health issues is the most intolerant and bigoted piece of crap I have ever read. Its [sic] also utterly inaccurate. You are the sort of bigoted bible thumping proselytizing ass that gives true conservatives a bad name. Do the rest of us a favor and shut the hell up. --Andy Buchanan

Sorry, Andy. You didn't say "please." --Mike Adams

Dr. Adams, you are a paranoid idiot. You probably think your next door neighbor is a communist. --John

Hi John! That isn’t true. My next door neighbor is a Republican. But I think his cat is a communist. He’s Siamese and every time he comes near he just stares at me and says “Mao. Mao. Mao.” I’m beginning to wonder… seriously. --Mike Adams

Cultureof Corruption by Michelle Malkin FREE

Mr. Adams: Before I had a sex change I used to let bigots like you manipulate my feelings about my gender identity. Not anymore. We are growing in numbers and we are gaining acceptance. But, you sir, are a dinosaur. Love and Peace--Peter

Dear Peter: I’m at home with some friends and we are having a little bet. Specifically, we are wagering on what your name was before the sex change.

Could you identify the correct response?:

a)Virginia, b)Muffy, c)Delores, or d)None of the above

Thanks! --Mike Adams

Dr. Adams: It does not appear, from all of your ranting about the transgendered community, that you have any sense of what it is like to wake up in the morning feeling like a woman. --Veronica

Dear Veronica: I think we’ve established some common ground on this one. My lack of understanding of the transgendered community is, in fact, related to the fact that I simply do not know what it is like to wake up feeling like a woman. You’ve been most helpful. --Thanks, Mike Adams

Dr. Adams, you are a doushbag [sic]. --Frank

Frank, the spell checker is your friend. It isn’t your enema. --Mike Adams

You are an idiot, Dr. Adms [sic]. You cannot seriously have a PhD, can you? GO back to Mississippi where the other illiterayes [sic] are from. --Jack

Hi Jack. What are “illiterayes”? I’m afraid I lack your sophisticated vocabulary. --Mike Adms

Dr. Adams, it is in poor taste to jugde [sic] cultures other than you [sic] own. References to Muslim man [sic] as “swarthy” and remarks about Muslim headwear are simply untoward. --Sue

Hi Sue. I come from a culture where people think that judging other cultures is good. Please stop judging our culture. --Mike

p.s. I also come from a culture with a healthy respect for the spell-checker. Please, come visit us some time.

Dr. Adams: I hate Sarah Palin. The only reason she’s on the Republican ticket is because she’s a woman. --Carley

Dear Carley: I have some very bad news for you. You believe people should be chosen for positions based on qualifications, not demographics. That makes you a conservative. --Mike Adams

Dr. Adams: As a gay man, I really get tired of your disparaging remarks about homosexuals. Please tone down your rhetoric. It’s enough already. --Antonio Rossi

Dear Antonio: Sorry about that. I just assumed an Italian homosexual would enjoy a good innuendo. --Mike Adams

Dr. Adams: What petrifies the disbelievers is that the 19 Martyrs knew for so long that on September 11, 2001 they would, by the Permission of Allah, meet death. It terrifies them to their very core. They find it incomprehensible that men could live for so long with an objective to meet death and not snap under the pressure. Each of the 19 Martyrs made a vow to meet death on September 11 2001; they did this not a few minutes before the attack, not a day before, not even a week before, but a considerable time before the attack. This makes the oath of the 19 Martyrs, a glorious oath amongst the most noble oaths.There is a Satan with all of us, but the greatest Satans are assigned to the battlefield, so imagine how great the Satans were that tried to cast doubt into the minds of the 19 Martyrs. Imagine how many temptations, doubts and fears were whispered into their ears? Just imagine how the Evil Whisperer whispered: Is this really the answer, can't we just carry on as we are, after all, is America stopping you from praying to Allah, has America stopped you from building mosques? Or do you really think the 19 of you can defeat the USA? What if you fail? Are you prepared to spend the rest of your life in prison? And then seeing the determination within their hearts, changing his strategy to: Do you really want to be shredded by a million infinitesimal pieces of glass like a million daggers? Do you really want the cockpit to crush you and then slowly bleed to death? or Do you really want to be burnt alive and have your skin melt onto the metal? Even with this relentless whispering, did any of them fall apart? All Praise is due to Allah Alone, not even one was broken, which is why the US is still no closer to finding the finer details of the operation. The fact that all of them remained steadfast in this operation is a testament to the faith they had in Allah and therefore the strength of their Islam.You are (expletive deleted), --Julio Pino.

Update: Julio Pino’s house was eventually raided by Secret Service agents. This occurred just a few days after Dr. Adams published one the treasonous missives sent by Pino to www.DrAdams.org. After his computer was seized by federal agents, Pino stopped sending hate mail to Dr. Adams’ website.

You really stooped to [sic] low with this column. You should never use the word “fat”. --Anonymous.

Dear Anonymous: You just did. --Mike Adams

Dr. Adams, your criticism of gays is not just annoying. It is ill-manners [sic], and rude. You [sic] parents raised you poorly. --Tim

Hi Tim! It really has nothing to do with upbringing. I was born with the anti-gay gene. There’s nothing I can do about it. --Mike Adams

Dr. Adams: Your statement, "If you thought my joke (about peanut allergies) was insensitive, you’re probably already voting for Barack Obama." I was certainly not going to vote for Barack Obama, as your [sic]. But, I definitely thought your joke was insensitive. I have a daughter with a severe peanut allergy and a son with a mild peanut allergy, so I know the difference. My son would breakout in hives if he ate a handful of peanuts.My daughter could die if she ate one peanut. So, for me, your joke was extremely insensitive. If my son were (riding with you) on that plane, I would sacrifice the slight chance that he may be uncomfortable, for your enjoyment of peanuts.

It is not entirely your ignorance about this fatal allergy that allows you to make light of it. In your defense, too many people with the mild allergies exaggerate their condition and they feel entitled to inconvenience others strictly for their own comfort. These people are the worst because they are not only selfish but they also diminish the warnings about people like my daughter, with life threatening allergies. There are some topics one should not joke about and certainly those within the realm of life and death are among them. --Sincerely, Marc Dykhuizen

Marc, do you think it at all possible that the problem with your children is that they have nutty parents? Why can’t you just put them in a bubble suit so I can enjoy my Planter’s?

What if every kid in America wore a bubble suit? How long would it take before the first child convinced his parents he was deathly allergic to bubble suits?

I can’t wait to hear back from you. And I hope you’re not allergic to sarcasm. Really… I mean seriously. --Mike Adams

Dr. Adams, your last article was just not up to your standard as a writer. --Scott

Dear Scott: That is probably because I am constantly upping my standards. Now up yours. --Mike Adams

I just read your new book about feminism. Nothing in your book is even remotely funny or accurate. Go back to the cave where you beling [sic]. --Jinny

Hi Jinny. In the book, I stated that feminists have no sense of humor. If you did not consider that part of the book to be funny then it must have been accurate. --Mike Adams