I don’t know how I got on so many left-wing fundraising lists, as I have a strict “give no money to any politicians” policy (because it makes it easier to call them out when they inevitably do something stupid), but they’re pretty amusing to read. As there is a very small percentage of Americans who actually give money to politicians (roughly 10-15 percent, with only about one percent giving more than $200, according to Google), you’d think these people would realize they’re all fishing in the same pond. But they don’t.
Doug Jones, a former Democrat senator from Alabama, is one such politician. Blessed by a horrible Republican opponent, Jones squeaked into the Senate thanks to a special election in 2017 and was promptly booted in 2020. Now he has designs on becoming the next Governor of Alabama.
I’m not too sure how that’s going to work out.
I do, however, love it when Democrats of some semi-profile run for office in states where it would take a miracle and voodoo for them to win because it sucks up campaign cash like Hunter Biden hoovers up the blow on a Vegas bender. A dollar wasted in liberal futility saves five for us in a righteous cause.
If you don’t know Jones, you are not alone. He’s a typical dumpy white Democrat from the south who holds no positions that would rock any boat anywhere on the left. It seems like the whole party is terrified of being caught not agreeing with whatever trans/junkie/illegal alien/criminal is the flavor of the moment, so they spend their time whining about Donald Trump.
It’s easier to just put together a noun, a verb and “Donald Trump” into a negative sentence than it is to try to figure out what might upset the broken woke mob on any given day, as whatever that is changes by the minute.
The funny thing is that while that might be the key to winning the Democrats’ nomination, it’s hemlock for the general election. Voters in the general election aren’t interested in who you hate; we usually hold all politicians in some level of contempt. We want to know what you’re going to either do to make things better, or at least how you’re going to stop making them worse. Simply burping up “Donald Trump!” every time someone asks you a question makes you look like a moron, or a Democrat, depending on which word you prefer.
But that’s all these people do.
You can’t find a Democrat in this country who isn’t running against Trump for everything. They aren’t running FOR any particular reason, just against him.
In that scramble for money, these people get incredibly lazy. Jones sent out the exact same email on three occasions. The subject line on April 27, May 2 and May 9 was “I hate doing this.”
What does Jones hate? Aside from Trump and MAGA, I mean. Asking for money. The email reads, “It’s Doug Jones. Look. I hate doing this. I love to campaign. I love to get out there with people. But I hate begging for money. But we’ve got to do it. I understand that.”
Doug Jones understands…or something. “I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Running statewide in Alabama isn’t cheap. The special interests that want to keep control of Montgomery will spend a lot of money against us.”
Actually, running statewide in Alabama is pretty cheap, relatively speaking. And running for office — an exercise in futility — sure beats working for a living, so having to prostitute yourself a little bit is a small price to pay.
Jones is actually 72, the age at which most people are retired. He's getting back into the game at a time when Democrats are pushing for “younger” nut jobs to replace their half-dead leadership, which is telling in that they don’t have high hopes for this race, that they’re mostly looking for a ticket balancer so they can pretend to be trying.
I’m all for it and hope Doug Jones raises and spends a fortune in his pursuit of rainbows and unicorns. I hope they all do, everywhere. I hope, just like they did in Virginia in their push for their biased, gerrymandered Congressional map, that they set huge piles of cash on fire for vanity projects. While Doug may hate asking for campaign cash, I sure do love Democrats wasting a ton of it.
Derek Hunter is the host of the Derek Hunter Show on WMAL in Washington, DC, and has a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.