OPINION

Jimmy Kimmel: Fake Progressive Hero Of The Year

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That Jimmy Kimmel morphed from a fat, whiny side-kick to Adam Carolla into a less-fat, whinier leftist whose second wife neutered him and keeps his testicles in a Mason jar under the stairs should surprise no one. Fat dudes, even after they lose the weight, always remain fat in their heads and act fat for the rest of their lives. And Jimmy Kimmel acts fat – both the victim of society’s bulk judgment, and the perp of stuffing his face, figuratively. This self-martyrdom makes him the perfect progressive hero.

There really is something wrong with a group of people who idolize victimhood. Not mock – true victims of something deserve sympathy – but make victimhood something to aspire to. Nobody wins when you elevate losers, and Kimmel is a loser.

He has money, but plenty of losers make lots of money – their loserdom is part of what drives them to make more money, like another zero on their check will make their parents love them or add another inch to a shortcoming they’re spending their lives angrily making up for. But there’s never enough money because whoever didn’t love them back will never love them back and whatever they’re missing won’t grow because money isn’t appendage fertilizer. 

So you end up with an angry Sisyphusian forever trying to prove himself to the idea in their head, when the person or people they’re doing it for have either died or moved on, never really giving them any thought. 

This mentality leads people like this to take any attention they get as the most important thing in their lives. The person noticing them, even if they’re abusive, are a proxy for whatever it is missing in them.

By some reports, Kimmel’s second wife – more of a consolation prize than a trophy, if you ask me – is the person most responsible for this shift to joyless progressive. It’s hard to feel sorry for anyone manipulated into moron status, but those people don’t generally inflict themselves on others. Kimmel makes his living that way.

When his son was having health issues, Jimmy appealed for sympathy and he got it. No one worth their weight in dog dirt wants to see a kid suffer. And his son made it through. 

But when Charlie Kirk was murdered by someone sharing Jimmy’s world view and agenda, Kimmel had no such concern. His objective was to make sure Democrat didn’t get any of the blame for what their rhetoric inspired. The sympathy Kimmel wanted and got for his son was absent for the children of Charlie. 

Well, OK, he did cry on television about it, but only AFTER there were consequences for his callousness. He was more upset that while trying to score political points, he’d only managed an own goal. And because of it, his job seemingly hung in the balance. 

But it never did. ABC wasn’t about to fire him. They employ George Stephanopoulos as a “journalist,” for God’s sake, and air the festering boil of embarrassment to the human species called “The View.” If ABC had standards, or even employed anyone with shame or decency, neither of those things would be permitted. They probably all in Emmys. 

ABC only pulled Kimmel because affiliates held him to a standard, low as it was – I mean, how deep must you dig to get under the “don’t mock the assassination another person simply because you vote differently from them” bar? – but they quickly restored him because the left, bloodthirsty and hateful as they are, demanded it. Disney would rather lose money than face at their corporate “Trans Year of Visibility Holiday Party.” If you’re a shareholder…sorry.

Were it not for the complete collapse of Stephen Colbert’s show, Kimmel’s demise would likely not have caused any waves – not enough people care to matter. But the idea of liberal shows, ostensibly comedy shows, being held to the idea of having to attract an audience and turn a profit, scares the hell out of Democrats. Were it not for the free media they got – the in-kind donations of the corporate networks – Democrats would fail worse than their ideals they’re terrified to campaign on.

You can’t say Jimmy Kimmel is an effective communicator for Democrats, because only people who agree with him watch. He’s more of a wrangler, making sure the drones don’t stray from the plantation of acceptable thought. In that sense, and that he costs Disney roughly $20-$30 million a year in losses, he’s a net-plus for Republicans. 

For that reason, I wish Jimmy Kimmel a long career and name him one of the heroes of the year. 

Derek Hunter is the host of the Derek Hunter Show on WMAL in Washington, DC, and has a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.