I know it’s one day old already, but the first day of the Democratic National Convention was spent pretending Joe Biden was both a good President and a good man, neither of which is true. The remaining 3 days are going to be a long, slow, wet kiss on the rear end of a person used to giving those: Kamala Harris. The odds that you’ll hear anything remotely honest, true or insightful over the rest of it are about zero.
First, the Biden night. I know it’s over, but it hasn’t happened yet as I write this, so it’s like a prediction you’ll immediately know if I was right not about.
I don’t really know how you celebrate a man who has lied about so much of his life. Not on a principled basis, that kind of goes without saying, but on a practical one. They can’t really talk much about what Joe did in the Senate in the 70s or 80s, as most of his time was spent sucking up to racist Democrats. His tenure on the Judiciary Committee saw Clarence Thomas confirmed, and thank God for that, so they can’t celebrate that. The Crime Bill Joe led on in Congress is now looked at by the left as a horrible, racist piece of legislation because in led to the incarceration of a lot of black men, so that’s out. He stood by Israel, but can’t mention that to these people. As Obama’s VP he was in charge of policy related to Ukraine, and we all know how well that worked out.
All Joe can really do is claim to be the Forrest Gump of the Democratic Party: the guy who was there when stuff happened. Only he can’t remember the stuff that happened. He can’t talk about how he was arrested protesting for civil rights, because that’s a lie. How he was arrested trying to visit Nelson Mandela in prison, because that didn’t happen. He can’t talk about how a drunk driver killed his first wife and daughter, because it’s not true. How his favorite conductor told him he traveled more than a million miles on Amtrak, because that guy was dead for a decade when the story took place. Can’t talk about how he was born in the same hospital his grandfather died in, because that happened in a different city. How his son died in Iraq, because he didn’t. How his other son is the smartest person he knows because, well, I guess that’s possible because stupid people tend to flock together.
His speech will be a 5-minute standing ovation and him saying “Thank you,” it's to avoid the risk of him lying.
You may wonder why Democrats would do this on their opening night. The answer is obvious – they want Joe Biden to leave the public stage as peacefully as possible. Everyone has seen a drunk getting tossed from a restaurant, when they get really loud as the manager is escorting them away. They scream, they knock into people, knock over drinks, throw things, etc. Democrats are the manager hoping Biden will just leave without setting the place on fire – just get him to the door so everyone can breathe easy. And Joe needs to have some glory thrown his way to make that exit easier on him. That’s why.
As for the rest, rapist Bill Clinton will be there. Rapist enable Hillary Clinton will be there. The Obamas will be there, if only to remind everyone that they don’t have anyone half as popular as they are. And don’t be surprised if you see a video of Jimmy Carter. Someone has already cut together the “memorial tribute” video for him, not expecting him to set a world record for time spent in hospice care, so it will likely be edited to “celebrate” his life since 4 years down the road it will have a lot less impact if he’s been gone for 3 and a half years.
Tim Walz will be portrayed more as a teacher and a football coach (though not an unpaid assistant coach like he was) than he will as a soldier. They can’t ignore that he served, but they’ll do their best to avoid specifics or mention of his rank. It will be interesting see how they all manage to do it and if anyone in the leftist media will call Fraudie Murphy out for all the lies and stolen valor. Don’t hold your breath.
Walz will also prance around the stage like a Muppet on cocaine, making outsized gestures and pointing in general directions like someone recovering from a closed head injury and amnesia seeing the Sun for the first time and being amazed. He truly is a weird person. It’ll be interesting to see how he handles being forced to kiss his wife, since he seems more used to shaking her hand and hugging her in a way to make sure their crotches aren’t close to each other. Is it any wonder they used IVF to make their kids?
As for Kamala Harris? Who cares, honestly. The bar has never been set lower for a candidate for any office than it is for her. The crowd and the media will cheer her like they’re the parents of that annoying kid on your kid’s soccer team who not only doesn’t understand the idea of passing the ball, but has no clue about the concept of which goal to go towards.
The responses have already been written. There isn’t a left-wing magazine she hasn’t already graced the cover of, because waiting until after the convention would risk having to make bigger fools of themselves should she go “Full Kamala” and they still have to pretend she’s something special. The shotgun nature of the wedding that got her the nomination prevents everyone from being able to honestly try to talk their friend out of it because she’s ugly, inside or out. It’s the one time you’d advise an abortion, though I suspect Harris has already beaten everyone to that before, multiple times (no matter where the line was set, I’d bet the “over” on that one).
Overall, I expect a non-stop fecal matter show, with enough smoke blown up the post-digested food exit ports of those in attendance that rather than free abortions and vasectomies (which I encourage Democrats to avail themselves of – let them go the way of the Dodo), maybe someone should have provided colonoscopies? Having that much smoke blow up there can’t be healthy.
Also, there’s a decent chance of a riot, should the BLM/ANTIFA Brownshirts forget who they serve and get uppity.
No matter what, it’ll be horrible television because that’s all horrible people can produce.
Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!) and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses, and host of the weekly “Week in F*cking Review” podcast where the news is spoken about the way it deserves to be. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.