A baby, a mother and a father. They are at the heart of the Christmas season. And, yet, as Mary Eberstadt points out in her book “How the West Really Lost God,” a nuclear family might seem strange to many people who did not grow up in one. And the celebration of a baby might hold a painful reminder to a person unable to have children for whatever reason. Eberstadt’s point is that we should acknowledge how reality contrasts with our ideals.
One Saturday morning not too long ago, a young woman from a pro-abortion group in New York City recognized me at a pro-life prayer vigil across from a Planned Parenthood clinic. She screamed in my face: “Kathryn Jean Lopez, what are you going to blame on abortion today?” I confess, I smiled. I thought: “She must actually read me!” If I am not just preaching to the choir, then my writing must be getting my message out.
I’ll be completely honest: As someone who has been a pro-life activist and writer for as long as I can remember: We were unprepared for what happened after the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade. At the same time, when I travel for speaking or reporting, I try to make it a point to visit a pro-life pregnancy-care center or maternity home. I’ll get a tour of the material resources available to women -- baby clothes and cribs and all the things a young mom needs. Even in Jerusalem earlier this year, I was able to tour the warehouse and ministering facilities of EFRAT, which cares for women in Israel who find themselves pregnant and in need.
My point is: There is help for women who want to choose life all around the country and the world. The Heartbeat International network is a crucial part of this. But I also know that most people have no idea that organizations like it exist. Truth be told: Often, when I talk with people who consider themselves pro-life, they aren’t aware of what exists in their own backyards.
I say this on Catholic and other Christian campuses all the time: If you think you don’t have pregnant students on campus, that’s because they are getting abortions. As you may be aware as a human being, when you put young men and women together, some things are going to happen that might lead to pregnancy. Obviously, you teach the ideal of waiting for marriage. But it’s not breaking news that that doesn’t always happen. I’m so grateful that schools like The Catholic University of America in D.C. (my alma mater) and The University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota, (I’m on the Board of Regents) have and made it clear that they have room and resources for pregnant students and single mothers.
As this year winds down, I think of some of the abortion-related news stories of late. They are such intimate situations and there is so much pain.
I will hold Kate Cox, who left Texas to obtain an abortion, in my heart this Christmas. Her unborn baby had trisomy 18 and wasn’t expected to live for long. That’s a heart-wrenching situation, whatever your position on abortion. But the reality of our politics is that it falls into a left-vs.-right fight. If you make the mistake of following it all on social media, it seems like you are watching a game of Whac-A-Mole. And yet we are talking about human lives.
For there to be peace on Earth, we need the family. That’s not an ideological position, but a human reality for all of us, in various roles. Let’s keep that in mind as we stroll past the nativity scenes this year.
(Kathryn Jean Lopez is senior fellow at the National Review Institute, editor-at-large of National Review magazine and author of the new book "A Year With the Mystics: Visionary Wisdom for Daily Living." She is also chair of Cardinal Dolan’s pro-life commission in New York, and is on the board of the University of Mary. She can be contacted at klopez@nationalreview.com.)