OPINION

Get Married and Have Kids, Not the Other Way Around

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Recently, a piece written by columnist Cynthia Tucker explored child rearing through the lens of marriage rates and higher education among black and white Americans. The column’s central argument purports that a two-parent household, which confers on children increased educational and economic success, can no longer be prescribed as a tenable policy solution to uplift the black community. 

Tucker first asserts that college-educated black women suffer from a small marriage-eligible pool of men to marry and build a family with because black men suffer from socioeconomic instability and mass incarceration. I would submit that while socioeconomic status may be an indicator of “marriageability,” mass incarceration is a direct result of the vicious cycle of fatherlessness and lack of male role models.

Second, she argues that rising socioeconomic instability among white men is rendering marriage more difficult for college-educated white women. Therefore, marriage as a policy solution to uplift the black community is no longer justifiable. I wholly reject Tucker’s assertion that entering the bond of marriage has anything to do with race or a diploma. Marriage rates are declining because of a character and commitment crisis. Wanton pleasure without consequence and lack of goal seeking amongst men, regardless of race, are defining attributes that lead many women to resort to raising children on their own. Democrats cannot on one hand proclaim record unemployment but cry lack of job opportunity on the other. 

In the 1960’s, President Lyndon Johnson championed the Great Society Programs, a vision which sought the federal expansion of the welfare state, increased urbanization, and a reduction of poverty. Despite his aspirations, Johnson’s plan failed to make a material difference, but instead, by incentivizing government funding for single mothers, began the destruction of the nuclear family. As a result, children born to two married parents decreased from over 90% in the 1960’s to nearly 50% today. A Democratic plan of high goals but disastrous consequences. 

Subsequently, the responsibility of procreative commitment has for many shifted from the traditional nuclear family to a government funded single parent model. These ill-conceived federal policies have taught young men they have no obligation to raise their offspring. Regardless of race, religion, or creed, this shift is deeply troubling. It is well documented that two-parent households lead to better outcomes for children than single-parent households. When compared to other children raised by married parents, kids raised by a single parent are more likely to face behavioral and psychological challenges— like violence or engaging in high-risk behaviors.

The main premise of this issue, the idea that marriage is becoming more difficult to achieve for everyone, regardless of racial consideration, as women outpace men in higher educational attainment, must be carefully considered. While it may be the case, it does not nullify the well-established increase in happiness for individuals and benefit to children that marriage grants.

If we disqualify policy solutions, concrete in their merits, because they are unpopular or difficult, we cannot complain when devastating consequences come home to roost. Additionally, if we fail to address the cultural issues and policies that have contributed to the present challenge, we will not be able to effectively address it. This task requires careful discussion and compassionate persuasion that is not perceived as judgmental or shameful of single mothers.

Socioeconomic stability is directly tied to marriage and childbearing within its bounds. For this reason, I have long argued that fatherless homes are the primary culprit of many of the issues that plague our country today. 

While I appreciate the author’s perspective, the benefit of marriage on child rearing is not a racial issue, it is a cultural and societal issue. Marriage works, and we must not abandon its immensely positive impact because of obstacles along the way.  Any argument that asserts socioeconomic prerequisites to marriage and family building is a red herring. Trust, partnership, and commitment, for better or worse, and through sickness and health, are the pillars of marriage, not a diploma nor an occupation.