Now that we’re about a week post-1st GOP debate, post-38th bogus indictment, and post-472nd Biden vacation, this is a good time to reevaluate where we are in the race for the presidency. Let me give you a spoiler – I don’t know what’s going to happen. There has been no race like this ever before, and there may not ever be one like it again. In fact, there may never be one again period if stupid and evil people don’t quit tearing down our institutions. So the stakes are high, and expectations are low.
Let’s look at the Republicans and begin at the bottom. If they weren’t on the debate stage, I’m not going to waste time on them. There are some who were on the debate stage I shouldn’t waste time on either. Asa Hutchinson? What the what? I liked him better when he looked like a crusty prospector. During the debate, he looked like Nosferatu’s dumber cousin who feeds on the blood of children – and speaking of Biden, we will get to him later.
Ronna McDaniel needs to raise the entry standards for the next Republican debate, and Asa needs to be gone. So does Governor Burgum. He’s a nice guy. I hope his Achilles tendon heals. He needs to go back to East Dakota. And adios to Tim Scott. He talked about how he had a hard upbringing, and then suddenly he vanished. It’s clear to everybody that this guy is not a contender. Go back to being an inoffensive non-entity in the Senate. As far as Republican politicians from South Carolina go, being an inoffensive non-entity is about the best we can hope for.
Chris Christie won’t be going anywhere as long as he dreams of coming in second in New Hampshire and as long as he thinks he can score some campaign trail ham. He was all hyped up as being ready to go in and eviscerate somebody. He slapped around Vivek a little, which, in some states qualifies as child abuse, but Chunky C was soft and gelatinous in more ways than one. He’s a squish with an attitude. Somebody offer him a contract at MSNBC and end this.
Nikki Haley thinks she had a good night, but I can’t see men digging her harpy vibe. I don’t know what women think of her, not so identifying myself, but she seems to believe her constant girl power fist pumping is going to get those suburban wine moms back in the GOP henhouse. To me, she’s like the scold at a dinner party who makes everyone uncomfortable when she runs down her hubby. Now, I know that she will probably complain about people pointing out that she is uniquely annoying in a uniquely female way even as she points out that females are uniquely awesome in uniquely female ways, but here’s the thing about charges of sexism and such in 2023: No one cares anymore. Regardless, she has staked a claim to those remaining Republicans nostalgic for the Bushie foreign policy of the 2000s – both of them. Good luck with that.
Mike Pence had a bad night. The only thing that he had going for him was he seemed like a nice guy and he was just a jerk and I want him to go away and maybe become a preacher in a town where he can talk the people into banning dancing.
I think the Vivek is a very smart guy. I do not think he is a very wise guy. He knows a little about a lot and is very generous with his inexperience. He says a whole lot of things I agree with, even if he doesn’t seem to have thought them through, and a whole lot I disagree with, because it’s clear he hasn’t thought them through. You have to have been around the block a couple times to understand the second and third order effects of major decisions. And this is a conservative party. He is advocating, huge structural changes to our government, which I don’t necessarily disagree with, but I’m not sure that this party is willing to hand over that kind of down to the studs demolition and rebuild to a kid who’s never built anything.
I would also prefer that he actually be a Republican. I see him as the cycle’s Ben Carson-like flash in the pan. He got a little bump from the debate, but it’s waning and I think he will begin to fade from here.
I make no bones about the fact that I support Ron DeSantis for the nomination, and I think he did what he needed to do. Since the debate, he has continued with the same slow and steady grind. Remember, he’s still in the introduction phase. He talked about his military service three times not because he was SEAL-adjacent but because most people don’t even realize that he served in Iraq. He raked in some good money after the debate, which is one of his jobs going forward. He’s going to continue to build infrastructure in Iowa and New Hampshire, which he needs to do. He’s going to hold on as the solid second. And that’s what he has to do for right now.
The shameful farce that is the prosecution of Donald Trump may become exhausting for those of us not fully morally outraged by it. It is smart to use the disgraceful mug shot as a badge of honor, but it is also a horrifying emblem of the decline of our country and the rule of law. Beyond that, I think in retrospect Trump missing the debate was a mistake. The polls show it hurt him. I don’t expect him to repeat a no-show. I may be wrong, but I think he has peaked.
Now the Dems. Joe Biden is the biggest scumbag in the history of scumbaggary. It’s hard to imagine the level of moral illiteracy that would allow you to take the incineration of what might be hundreds of fellow Americans and make it all about you before jetting off back to a billionaire’s compound to continue your permanent vacation. And as he did, the drip, drip drip of undeniable evidence emanating from the House Oversight Committee continued to fill the Bucket O’ Impeachment. Impeachment is coming, hopefully right after he gets renominated. The only question is whether Joe Biden is going to hold on that long – the Democrats have some decisions to make.
And, of course, in the wings, Gavin Newsom, watches and waits.
Who the hell knows how this clusterfark is going to end?
Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, as well as his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.
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