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The Balloon Hoaxter Is Outed

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Editor's note: A previous version of this story incorrectly attributed a quote about the press's coverage of Gov. Ron DeSantis to Maggie Haberman of The New York Times. The quote was made by Margaret Sullivan of GuardianUS. The error is regretted and has been corrected.

03.10.23

Low Octane Gas Lighting – THE GUARDIAN

Margaret Sullivan is all set to sell you a bridge based on this stretch of reality. "It's appalling to see the media lavish DeSantis with so much fawning coverage."

Hilarious, right? Apparently, to Margaret, Fox News and one article from CNBC is far too much praise for the man to receive. Meanwhile – if you type the words "Desantis + Fascist" in any search engine, you will have enough content to read through the entire weekend.

Race to the Bottom – LOS ANGELES TIMES

From the outlet that recently delivered the treatise on racist helicopters in L.A. comes this next divisive detail from the city. Yes, white people are the ones causing all the smog, and only POC are affected.

This… just leads to all kinds of questions. Do white people not breathe in polluted air? Do black people who drive not pollute? If we have black people driving white people around, is that considered a solution, or is it another form of racism? We need answers!

Legalized Press-titution – VARIOUS OUTLETS

Recall during the Chinese spy balloon debacle that there was the deflection of a story floating around (SWIDT?) that Trump had similar balloon incursions during his years as president? The Washington Free Beacon has outed Pentagon official Colin Kahl as the source of that outlandish tale, and you would be hard-pressed to find any outlets looking deeper into this matter regarding either the legality of him leaking classified intel or just peering into the accuracy of his claims.

Glossary Over Things – POLITICO

In her upcoming book release, "The Snowflakes' Revolt," Amber Athey reveals that she found Politico has their own style guide, and much like the AP, theirs is awash in woke rewriting of conventional definitions. Some of the gems:

  • In reference to illegal migration: onslaught, tidal wave, flood, inundation, surge, invasion, army, march, sneak and stealth
  • Anchor baby
  • Chain migration—this is a term used by "immigration hard-liners"
  • Third-world countries—too "derogatory"
  • Peanut gallery—The cheapest seats often occupied by Black people and people with low incomes.

Artisanally-Crafted Narratives – ASSOCIATED PRESS

  • We need to spread crippling debt across MORE of the country!

The AP saw a recent study that showed despite the fact that we came out of the pandemic, it has not led to a commensurate rebound in people returning to college. Instead, it has been shown that university admissions have dropped significantly since 2019.

Today, they are looking at a decrease of -8% over the past four years. For reasons that make sense only to them, the growing amount of people deciding they do not need to absorb a small fortune in owed tuition costs is considered to be a "crisis."