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The Liz Cheney Media Sycophant Competition Winners Are Announced!

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08.17.22

Legalized Press-titution – VARIOUS OUTLETS

Winners of last night's competition for Most Shameless Cheney-snugglers

  • Honorable Mention – Axios

It appears that Axios had pre-written stories on last night's primary for contingencies. But given Cheney had been polling at anywhere from -20% to -30% for months, there was no excuse to mistakenly release a version with her being the winner.

  • Honorable Mention – George Conway

There have been many saying things such as it was worthwhile for Cheney to lose and maintain her integrity. But Conway takes this a step further, making it sound as if Liz has been crowned Miss Congeniality of Politics.

  • Third Place – Joe Walsh

With his passionate welcoming of Liz to his revered club of Never-Ever-Trumpers, Joe needs to ignore the honorable Liz helms the illegitimately-built January 6 Committee, and her constitutional integrity is damaged by her committee becoming hostile toward those who invoked their constitutionally assured Fifth Amendment rights. 

  • Second Place – Bill Press

In a sniveling display of virtue signaling, Bill Press made the bold announcement that he decided to donate to Liz Cheney's campaign. His reason was even more ridiculous. 

- "It's the toughest decision I've ever made. I'd considered it for a long time, but the latest news from Mar-a-Lago made me finally do it. Even though I know she's going to lose tonight's Wyoming Republican primary (the latest polls showing her 30 points behind), I went online and made a contribution to Rep. Liz Cheney's reelection campaign." 

Making this all the more biased is that not only did he give money to a losing cause, only to have her turn around – after spending less than a third on a campaign –  and form a cash-vacuum PAC, he was added to the list of almost exclusive out-of-state financial backers to her cause. 

  • First Place – Frank Bruni

The New York Times columnist was absolutely effusive in his praise. "A champion…she represents steadfast principle…the correctness of her positions…her genuineness…calm and conviction…a hero she is…" and so on. Making the slobbering all the funnier, however, is this is the same Bruni who not too long ago wrote about the now devout Liz when she first ran for office. It condemned her as intolerant toward gay marriage – with a gay sister – and even implied she lied about her traditional marriage stance for the sake of being elected over the bonds in her own family. 

As he wrote at the time: "Would victory redeem the public message that Liz just sent to her niece and nephew? If there's not a knot in her stomach, then there's nothing at all in her heart."