OPINION

James Bond Is A Man, Get Over It

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Liberals ruin everything they touch, and like Joe Biden at a shampoo convention for teenage girls, they will try to touch everything. Sports, comedy, food and more are all in the process of having the joy sucked out of them by leftists insisting politics dominate everything, jokes be replaced with political statements, and we eat bugs. They really are horrible people. One target they’ve had their eyes on for a while is James Bond – problematic because he’s a straight white male who fights for what’s right, all of which are things the left cannot stand.

Whenever the person playing James Bond comes to the end of their tenure there is a push to change what Bond is, either certain parts of his character or all of his existence. From “James Bond should be a man of color” to “James Bond should be a woman,” the left will seek to control everything they can and destroy everything they can’t. 

James Bond is a man, he’s a white man, if you really want to get technical. And he’s popular with the ladies, not interested in men. These are just a few of the reasons the left is seeking to destroy him.

Oh, they pretend it’s not about destruction, but it’s about destruction and everyone knows it. So the push to make Bond a woman has been dismissed out of hand, thankfully, by producer Barbara Broccoli, whose family owns the rights to the character. 

Broccoli recently said, “James Bond is a male character. I hope that there will be many, many films made with women, for women, by women, about women I don't think we have to take a male character and have a woman portray him. So yes, I see him as male.” 

Daniel Craig, the outgoing Bond, added, “Why does James Bond have to be a woman? Someone should write a role just as good as James Bond for a woman.” 

That’s one “Woke” hurdle cleared. But no hurdle is ever cleared with the left, they just wait. They’ll be back.

The Bond handoff is just one example of the condescension in Hollywood and the left. Every time we hear big pushes for “diversity” in Hollywood we get warmed over tropes about how this character or that one should be reimagined to be of a different gender, color, both, or some other irrelevant characteristic. “Should the next James Bond be black?” or “Should the next James Bond be gay?” How about “no” to all of it?

What Daniel Craig said is perfect, and right – rather than change what exists, how about creating something new? You’re supposed to be the “creative community,” aren’t you? Taking “The Wonder Years” and pitching “The Wonder Years but black” is creative in the way rewriting song lyrics is creative – it’s “new,” but not really. 

If Hollywood, which never stops lecturing the country about how racist and sexist it is, were really interested in practicing what they’re preaching, no one would be looking to rebrand what exists already, they’d be creating something new. Moreover, they’d hire women and minorities to create those shows and movies. They don’t. 

It’s easier and cheaper to just take what already exists, change it slightly, call it a “twist,” market it as wildly progressive, and congratulate yourself for being wonderful while hammering fat checks. Until, of course, the audience passes and the whole thing turns out to be a bomb.

The public doesn’t want rehashed garbage made to make the audience feel good about themselves rather than entertain. But if Hollywood wants to keep setting piles of cash on fire this way, I have a few pitches to sell:

The A-Team, but with a multi-ethnic cast. The original had Vietnam vets, this would be a gang of Afghan war vets, all gender non-conforming, with vague ethnicities and a drive for environmental, social, and racial justice. 

All In The Family, but a black and Hispanic cast with a white neighbor they hate because he owns a string of BBQ joints and there’s a running debate over whether or not this is cultural appropriation. 

The Cosby Show, only without all the rape off screen.

OK, maybe that last one isn’t really a pitch, more of a reminder that all of these people are awful creatures. 

No, just be creative. It’s not hard; pretty easy, in fact. 

James Bond is a man, a white man. He likely won’t always be, he’ll probably be changed to whatever is fashionable at the time under pressure from the left because that’s what they do. They’ll do it because it’s easier than trying something new, something different, and hiring people who look like people you want to pretend to be comfortable around. Audiences won’t show up because we know when we’re being condescended to and we don’t like it. Maybe RuPaul will acknowledge that fact in this Oscar acceptance speech for playing the dual roles of James and Jane Bond.

Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show on WCBM in Maryland, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter