Greg Gutfeld is funny, smart, talented, and hard-working enough to earn the late-night ratings crown all on his own. So someone should explain why his competition insists on surrendering the fight and give up any pretense that they're even trying to entertain and keep an audience.
Last night, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert, and the lower tiers of late-night hosts all ceded their evening's programming to a single cause: climate change.
All of us at #LNSM are excited to join @fallontonight, @thedailyshow, @colbertlateshow, @latelateshow, @jimmykimmellive and @FullFrontalSamB for #ClimateNight tomorrow! Check out @SethMeyers’ interview with @JohnKerry on 9/22. pic.twitter.com/6C2jNrpiWu
— Late Night with Seth Meyers (@LateNightSeth) September 21, 2021
Nothing says "end my day with a good laugh" like "the planet is dying because you eat hamburgers!"
"I'm thrilled to participate in Climate Night," said Samantha Bee. "But maybe we should move it up a few days? Just because, you know, it's urgent?"
One suspects Ms. Bee is just thrilled anyone pays attention to anything she says at this point. Seriously, is that show really still on the air? Oh... it's on TBS. No.
"I'm proud to dedicate one entire night of my show to the climate, so I can say I wasn't part of the problem. I was 1/365th of the solution," said Stephen Colbert, exhibiting the kind of wit and biting observational humor that earned him accolades like "not quite as painful as Carrot Top."
"I don't want to die," Jimmy Kimmel told CNN when explaining why he's participating. He didn't clarify as to whether he was referring to the fate of the planet or what his wife would do to him if he could no longer bring home his fat ABC paycheck if he refused his network executives' woke commandment.
Jimmy Fallon provided the only modicum of humor when asked about his participation. "In the interest of recycling, please use whatever Jimmy Kimmel said." You get the feeling Fallon is really just along for the ride and doing what he needs to do to keep his gig.
Gutfeld took to social media to point out the drivel his competitors were engaged in.
"Hey all, it's Climate Night! When comedy is trumped by virtue signaling! And therefore: no longer comedy! It's just the elite parroting assumptions that keep them elite. These aren't comics; they're teachers' pets. At least put up a fight, guys. Stop it. It's sad to watch."
In recent weeks, Gutfeld has already assumed the throne of late-night ratings king, having consistently brought more viewers to the Fox News cable channel for his nightly extravaganza. Amateur stunts like this won't do anything to knock him off the top of the heap. In fact, it confirms the reason why he's there in the first place.
Steve Bodow was the "brain" child behind all the late-night shows surrendering any effort to amuse for the sake of apocalyptic climate porn. He was a former producer on "The Daily Show" and Netflix's "Patriot Act." He sort of gave away the plot in this remarkable statement to CBS:
"Late-night hosts reflect our national conversation even more than Russian Twitter bots set it — so this incredible group of shows coming together makes a statement about the scale and urgency of the world's hottest problem."
So... let's just understand the genius behind this plan. According to Bodow, "Late-night hosts reflect our national conversation." Reflect. Hmm... If they reflect our national conversation, doesn't that mean, by definition, that the late-night hosts would be obsessed with climate change because the rest of us are obsessed with climate change? This isn't a reflection at all... this is projection. Worse, it's coercion. In fact, it's a lot of things... but one thing it isn't is funny.
Gone are the days when Johnny or Dave or Jay or even Arsenio would crack jokes based on the things we were all talking and thinking about today. Now, Jimmy, Seth, and Stephen have to tell you what you should be thinking about. That's not a monologue; that's a lecture.
One wonders if David Letterman or Conan O'Brien, the last two vestiges of the Carson era of late-night greatness, would've signed on for the unfunny virtue signaling. I'd like to think they'd ask the only question that should be relevant in a "hey, let's dedicate the show to climate change" kind of show pitch: Is it funny? If not... the answer is no.
One thing is pretty clear, just one week after we all spent hours watching the great Norm Macdonald perform genius acts of comedy on the guest couch of Dave and Conan's set, there's no way he'd be caught on any of these hack's shows.
Let's face it... we all know whose show Norm would choose to be on this week if he was still with us.
This is very kind to quote me, Greg. I am a fan and appreciated this discussion. https://t.co/HSd6PbrGGj
— Norm Macdonald (@normmacdonald) June 27, 2018
Alas... there's a great moment we will not be able to experience in this lifetime.
And now, like the viewers of all those climate-obsessed late-night shows, I'm sad.