Hi, everybody! This is the "Stream of Kurtiousness" for July 2, 2021. This is like the 16th time I've done it—every time I do it, the damn dogs bark. Come here, puppies! Give me a puppy! Come here, come here. I just need one of my hideous animals. I know you guys like the dog better than anything else. So, let's have the dog part of this. Okay, let's talk about "Dungeons and Dragons" and Tolkien, and how they're all going woke! Yes, that's right. You're thinking, "Okay, lonely nerd children with no friends are becoming victimized by wokeness?" Well, it's true!
Warning: Contains Explicit Language
Apparently, "Dungeons and Dragons" is really concerned by the legacy of slavery in its completely made-up fantasy world. I don't know if it's slavery. I think they're just kind of interrogating their white privilege; if you're like a 12th level mage and you have spells with your +4 sword, and you've never kissed a girl, you probably are really concerned about that. I don't understand any of it – A) because they're nerds but B) because they're nerds.
It's amazing to me that there are people out there who think, "You know, I play a lot of 'Dungeons and Dragons,' but I've been looking for a way to make myself into a more complete loser. And I think I've found it! I think we're going to play 'Woke Dungeons and Dragons.' Instead of running around with swords and stuff, attacking people, I think we're going to sit around and have a struggle session about our feelings about the elf privilege that's been making things bad in ways." I don't understand any of this.
First of all, why are these people. That's the end of the sentence. And why are these people doing this? Are they trying to become even more virgin?
J.R.R Tolkien, you remember "The Lord of the Rings" book? I think I actually have one. I actually really enjoyed "The Lord of the Rings" movies; I don't like fantasy movies typically, ut I think they're stirring. And, of course, J.R.R. Tolkien, a veteran of WWI, a very deeply Catholic guy, just a very interesting guy, who created a nice little world, and it was great. So now, it's got to be turned into sh** by a bunch of freaking losers with gender studies degrees. That's right, there's something called the Tolkien Society, which is, well, that's a whole pathetic tangent. Look, they're just fun books. I mean, the people who dress up as wizards in "Harry Potter," there's such a thing as taking the sh** too far. But these guys have taken it too far, and then they like got into a Prius and drove it even further into Loser Town. Population: them.
What they've done is they are now having things like the queer paradigm in Gondor, which is apparently a country. You know, hobbits interrogating gender identity between Frodo and, who's the other guy, Bilbo, I don't know. Maybe they're chicks? I don't know. Is Gandalf a transexual? I don't know.
*loud crash* I don't know what the hell that was.
Anyway, why? Why is this being done? Why would an otherwise harmless loser without many friends, who spends a lot of time reading these books, decide, "I'm going to take it to the next level. I'm going to write a large analysis of the cisnormative paradigm in elvish culture or dwarf culture." There's one that's like "The Missing Feminine Female Dwarves" because apparently there are no female dwarves in "The Lord of the Rings." I know I've been tossing and turning about that headscratcher for a while.
Why are they doing it? There's a reason. Of course, there's a reason. There's always a reason. Yes, they're lonely shut-ins who need attention, obviously. Obviously, this is a way for powerless people no one likes who can never achieve anything on their own to try and get something like power and attention, clearly. But it's more than that. It's part of a cultural war because they want to invade every institution.
And they have invaded every institution.
They've invaded Major League Baseball, the National Football League, "Football is gay." Well, is that a surprise to you? Look, I'm not a sportsball fan, and hey, do your thing, but, you know, we all know about football.
Look, they want to be a part of everything because they want to destroy everything. And they want to destroy you. They want to destroy everything that's not bizarre because then they get to be the arbiters of truth. They get to be the arbiters of reality. They get to exercise some sort of power that they can't earn in any other way. They certainly can't win elections. They certainly can't persuade people. They certainly can't create anything of their own.
So, what you have is the spectacle of grown men and women and gender non-binary others (because, apparently, Facebook has like 57 categories of identity) spending valuable time that could be spent outside or doing pushups or something, writing about Aragorn and the fact that he seems a little butch and a little too patriarchal.
What a waste of life. These guys, gals, others have a certain period of time on this mortal coil, on earth as living beings, and they've chosen to squander a part of that struggling over the issues of gender identity in freaking Middle Earth. God, that's sad.
Every institution is getting the same way.
And you look at the institutions and the people doing it. They're not super accomplished people.
Look at General Milley in the military because now the military is all woke and everything. Does he seem super accomplished? I mean, he has a bunch of medals; that's good. He was apparently an okay battalion commander, according to someone, "Kurt, he was my battalion commander. He was okay. I don't know what the hell happened!" Ain't won a war in 20 years.
The military is a joke right now. It is unable to perform its most basic function of defeating America's enemies. I return you back to what I just said, which is, hasn't won a war in 20 years.
Yeah, I know I'm not supposed to say that because you're not supposed to criticize a general if the general is useful to the liberals. They usually don't add that qualifier, but that's an important qualifier because you can tell Mike Flynn about the "don't hassle generals thing."
They just aren't good at what they do, so how do you rise if you're a mediocrity?
And yeah, again, I know General Milley has a lot of medals. I know he has a lot of personal bravery. But he's really done a terrible, terrible job as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. So how do you rise to a level of terminal incompetence in current society? You do it by being more woke than other people.
The people who are actually achieving something are rarely woke. The people who actually perform adequately at their assigned tasks are usually not the ones who are introducing themselves with their pronouns. They're actually performing. They're actually doing their job.
Milley? What's he got? I mean, he's just a hack. It's the same in everything.
Sadly, it's the same even among the friendless, outsider losers who make up the "Dungeons and Dragons" community. Again, I'm just trying to get this into my head; imagine you play "Dungeons and Dragons," and you're sitting around thinking, "How could I be a bigger loser? I got it! I'll be a woke 'Dungeons and Dragons' player! I've got a 5th level paladin whose gender is non-binary, two-spirit!"
Oh, God. Everything is stupid.
So what do we do about it? We laugh at them. We mock them. And we understand them because we understand that these are not serious people. They're not intelligent people. They're not important people. They're unaccomplished losers who can't do anything right. So they've essentially made up this whole category of endeavor to try to give themselves a place where they won't be the worst at everything.
And they know we're not going to compete with them. You? Me? We're not going to get there and compete about the cisnormative patriarchal paradigm problem with 4th level dwarves. No, no.
It's important to understand your enemy. It's also important to laugh at them—even weak ones who have never kissed a girl.
This is the Stream of Kurtiousness.