Meghan Markle... excuse me, sorry, The Duchess of Sussex, has been the brunt and focus of international controversy for the past several days following her highly scrutinized appearance with Oprah Winfrey, where she revealed the depth of her personal angst and anxiety over her tumultuous time with the British Royal Family.
Now, on principle, I tend to agree with my friend and colleague Kurt Schlichter (who really needs a shave, by the way) when he wrote earlier this week:
Who cares about these people?
Stop caring about these people.
At least stop talking about these people around me.
And did I mention that monarchy is stupid?
As our former colonial overlords would say, "Quite."
However, I've been reflecting on the fallout over this interview and how Markle, the American, is the center of all the controversy and commentary and seems to be the polarizing lightning rod in this entire discussion, while the pasty ginger sitting next to her this entire time seems to be escaping without any scrutiny or criticism.
What in the holy hell is up with that?
Prince Harry is the man here. He's the husband. He's the prince. He's the guy who brought Markle into this situation. Why is no one talking about him and his responsibility?
Every single revelation... and I mean EVERY SINGLE REVELATION coming from this interview traces back to his complete and total abdication. Not his abdication of the royal duties or his titles or his role as a part of the monarchy... his abdication as a husband.
Examples...
1. Meghan says she didn't know how to curtsey when she first met the Queen of England. What the hell, Harry? You're dating an American girl. We don't have to curtsey to anyone over here. How about you step up and help her through this foreign experience, pal?
2. Meghan says she doesn't know how to sing "God Save the Queen." OK... so this one is a little rough because it's the same damn song as "My Country Tis of Thee" but with inferior lyrics, because it praises a monarch and monarchs, on the whole, suck. But still, Harry, the man in this relationship, should step up and provide some support for the woman he claims to love. Don't leave your girl hanging, my man. Teach her the song. Explain how important it is and how y'all change it to "God Save the King" in those sad occasions when a dude wears a crown and messes everything up (let's face it, England does much better with queens).
3. Meghan says she had no support for therapy when she had suicidal thoughts. First of all, I watched every season of "The Crown." It's at this point that Harry (who also binged "The Crown," you know he did) should step in and say, "Hey! In Season 4, Episode 7, Bellatrix... er... Great Aunt Princess Margaret was allowed to see a psychologist for her lunatic behavior. If you could make it work for her, make it work for Meghan!"
4. Meghan claims a member of the Royal Family expressed "concern" over the color of their unborn child's skin.
OK... let's take our time on this one because it might be the most controversial accusation in the whole interview.
First off... I don't wish to be indelicate here, but... is it really that strange that members of a family experiencing their first mixed-race marriage engage in speculation about what the child will look like?
Sadly, because of Oprah's lamentably amateur interview style, we have a serious lack of context surrounding this alleged event. For instance, the unnamed member of the Royal Family could have said something like, "Eee Gads, this child may look like an African! That would be disgusting!" And that, of course, would be despicable and racist and worthy of condemnation.
At the same time, the same unnamed Royal could have said something like, "I'm so excited about the new baby... I wonder what he or she will look like! We've only had pasty white babies for the past 1,200 years! Do you think this baby's skin will be a little darker? Like a beautiful cup of coffee with cream? I bet he or she will be beautiful!" Now, in this scenario, it's hardly a racist remark worthy of the immediate dismissal of Piers Morgan, is it?
Either way, the one nugget of information we do have about this alleged incident is vitally important as it pertains to Harry. You see, Meghan, who revealed this story to Oprah, was not a first-hand party to the conversation. Whatever remarks were made were made to Mr. Ginger over there, not to our American girl.
So, think this through. You're Harry. A member of your family just said something in the universe of speculation about your unborn baby's skin tone in relation to the fact that you are in a mixed-race marriage. You know your wife is going through a lot. You know she has had some emotional distress. You know she's pregnant, and therefore her hormones are doing that thing that hormones do when women are pregnant.
So, what do you do? As the man in this relationship, what do you do?
Do you, A: Decide to keep this information to yourself because you realize that nothing and no one will be served by announcing the details of this private conversation to your wife because it could very well cause her great distress? Or do you, B. Run to your emotionally unstable pregnant wife and cause her even more distress and anger at your family, thus harming her emotionally and further separating her from you, your siblings, your parents, your duty, and your nation?
He chose B.
And that's why Harry is the problem in this entire affair.
Also, Oprah kinda sucks too.