It’s baffling why anyone would watch a bunch of inbred weirdos and their bizarre mating rituals. No, I don’t mean screening Deliverance – I mean that monarchal idiocy Oprah inflicted on America. Plus, Senator Roy Blunt is retiring, along with four other Republicans of various levels of swampiness. Good. I also don’t dig the fascist book-burning garbage, but Dr. Seuss was a dirty leftist jerk and his book made America stupider. Welcome to my VIP column!
Never Mention These People to Me Again
Let’s get to a basic premise that the lonely wine women of suburbia who eagerly follow the antics of these ridiculous foreigners always seem to miss. The idea of royalty is stupid.
I mean really stupid.
Moronic.
Swalwellian.
It’s also unAmerican, but then most of the soft libs who follow this foolishness are too. The left loves the idea of royalty since most of them believe themselves imbued with the divine right to rule over us peasants. Whether the divinity is Gaia, or Nature, or some sort of power crystal, or some other nonsense, their entitlement comes from on high to lord over the rest of us.
I’ll say this about the French Revolution – way to go, Pierre!
Now, I despise the frigid, vapid wine women almost as much as people styling themselves as “royal.” Perhaps they have some sort of latent fantasy about being a princess, which is weird since so many glom onto the poisonous feminism that leads to them have empty, miserable lives. They all imagine some handsome prince will walk them down the aisle then cater to their every whim as the peons genuflect before their throne. The tales of castles and gowns take them away from their hellish lives, where their bitter husband is seeking solace with his secretary and one of their kids has just announced he’s henceforth “Sheila.”
Normally, that would be awesome, but not when everyone else’s kid in Santa Monica is doing it. He – excuse me, she – is just a conformist.
And you can’t escape this monarchy stuff. Just now – literally just this minute, as I was typing – my phone popped up with an announcement from People magazine promising “The biggest bombshells from Meghan and Harry’s Oprah interview!” Leaving aside the issue of how the hell my phone decided it needed to alert me to whatever People magazine is publishing – is that still even a thing? – there are literally no “bombshells” to be had, just the inane bleating of a third-tier Hollywood hack and her henpecked hubby. “China launches nuclear war” or “Biden finds his slipper” – those are important breaking news. The antics of this crowned clown car of mediocrities is not.
Why do people care? None of this matters, not even a little, and I hate that I cannot escape it.
Now, I have watched The Crown, but Elizabeth is a historical figure who hung out with Churchill and Thatcher, though the X-Files chick playing Margie was appallingly awful. That’s interesting, but in the last season, the history stuff gave way to episodes about that twit Diana and it made me want to die. Never before in history has so much been made of a hard 6 with an IQ to match.
Who cares about these people?
Stop caring about these people.
At least stop talking about these people around me.
And did I mention that monarchy is stupid?
The Squishes Retire
I get why soft GOP senators want to give up and walk away. All those uppity hicks out there in the states these guys represent are demanding that the collegial crowd push back and fight and do all the other things the puffball pols really don’t want to do. Being a senator is fun, or was. People would suck up to you and give you money and it was all very genteel. Then this whole populist thing started and people insisted you get off your withered old duff and actually defend the interests of the people who elected you and, well, that makes Senateing a lot less fun.
The challenge is the GOP will not only have to defend more seats in more (fortunately red) states, but will also have to take some Dem ones in 2022. However, getting rid of the Romneyites might avoid bloody primary battles between the patriots and the sissies. See, we’re done with the weakhearts, and the weakhearts know it. We’re no longer willing to give these pests a pass on fighting for us.
They will try to play it off as Trump Trump Trump, but that’s not it. The damage the left in DC is doing to us is real, even if our glorious solons can’t see it from behind their surrounding rings of razor wire and National Guardsmen. For too long the saps in Washington were able to ignore it and prioritize enjoying being poohbahs over actually performing for the people. It’s a lot less fun to fight.
Hawley and Cruz and some others got a lot of grief for taking hardstands. The DC media machine makes sure you feel the pain if you are a conservative who does any more than talk about conserving. For some, it’s easier to just quit.
Losing the guys who always lose is no loss.
The Truth About Dr. Suess
My college, UC San Diego, has this giant, space mushroom-looking library named after Dr. Suess, or at least after his real name. And I would walk by, look at that abomination, and make a Swalwell noise because he was a scumbag leftist.
I still don’t want his books banned, but the idea that he’s some hero is garbage. More than that, his books are stupid. I mean really stupid.
Hear me out.
Before Dr. Suess infected our kids, America was a powerhouse of energy, industry, and strength. And then the Cat in the Hat showed up, and the Grinch was unfairly villainized, and look at us now. Is there anyone who can seriously say that America’s youth are better since they were infected with his bizarre and dull children’s stories?
I am sure there are people who will try, but they are terrible people and complicit in America’s decline.
Even as a kid I thought Dr. Suess was crap. Nothing has changed, except now leftists want to burn his books because of their content. You might have won me over on aesthetic grounds, but not on that rationale.
Free speech, all the time, no excuses.
Suess still sucks, though.
Think of my newest Kelly Turnbull action thriller Crisis as Dr. Suess for conservatives. How’s this? Red stated, blue stated, leftist fascists get eliminated.
Okay, maybe it’s not the same, but it’ll do. Check out my other four novels about what happens when America splits into red and blue countries, People's Republic, Indian Country, Wildfire, and Collapse!
My super-secret e-mail address is kurt.schlichter @townhall.com.