OPINION

With Enemies Like This, Donald Trump Doesn't Need Friends

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

So, the Washington Post says that Donald Trump wants to honor the military with a parade, which the Trump-haters inform us is the worst thing that ever was because it’s Donald Trump who wants to honor the military with a parade. The very day the Democrats decided that they should make fun of Trump’s physical disqualification for military service – Democrats were pretending to think not serving is bad that morning – the Donkeys also decided they needed to spazz out about honoring our troops.

Whap! That’s the sound of the Democrats stepping on another rake.

Is a parade a good idea? A bad idea? Irrelevant! It’s a hilarious idea, because when this idea erupted on social media, it was absolutely certain that the liberals would immediately take a position that required them to say, “No, we should totally not honor our troops.”

Oh, I’m sure they’ve got plenty of nuance to that position – my favorite is their newfound concern about spending – but at the end of the day the message is clear. Trump wants to honor the troops, and the Democrats don’t.

Hilarious! And Trump does this to them all the time.

The president’s quarters have to be echoing with laughter every night after another day of the Beltway Bubble Boys ‘n Girls dancing to The Donald’s tune. By leveraging tweets, leaks, and off-the-cuff statements, no one has ever owned the mainstream media like Donald Trump. Those Democrat court reporters hate him, to be sure, but when he says “Jump,” they say, “How low?”

The “treason” imbroglio was another glorious liberal clusterfark. Trump gleefully giggles as he uses that word and within seconds there’s a Hiroshima of Huffiness. The land echoed with the high-pitched squeals of “Oh, well, I never!” in the wake of PDT using the very same word that tens of thousands of leftist idiots and their Fredocon pals had spent the last 18 months tossing about more promiscuously than Bill Clinton in Mazatlán on spring break.

So, for a couple days, we were treated to the delicious spectacle of the liberals arguing that, “No, we’re not traitors!”

Name one Trump supporter who, in the wake of a year of listening to fevered fantasies about Russians and Hitler Reborn and all the rest, gave one-millionth of a damn that the Dems were tearing their thinning, gray hair out over Trump joking about “treason?”

Hint: There wasn’t one. Not one.

And for those of us still fuming about how the liberals play kissy-face with legit traitor Jane Fonda, you fussy fakers are going to have to show us a lot more than that to move the needle on the Give-A-Schiff meter.

Every day, the Democrats seem intent on stepping on a new rake. The tax bill comes out, and the Democrats’ promise that those of us not already dead from Trump pulling us out of the Paris Climate Change Grift were going to be dead from getting more money back in our paychecks.

Whap! Rake! Because working folks keeping their own money is bad – for Democrat prospects.

Then a bunch of companies start giving bonuses to their employees, which the Dems pooh-pooh.

Whap! Rake! Because money not dispensed by Uncle Sucker doesn’t count or something.

And then Nancy Pelosi, the gift who keeps on gibbering, announces again and again that a grand is just “crumbs.”

Whap! Rake! Way to remind us why everyone hates San Francisco limo libs, Richie Witch.

With powerful midterm messages like, “We intend to repeal the tax reform bill that gave you Normals a few more bucks,” and “More illegal aliens or you’re racist!” the Democrats are a shoo-in to hold their House seats in Manhattan, Marin County, and Chicago! Say, a month ago wasn’t there a blue wave coming? Oops.

Then there was the early February stock market stutter, where a short-term correction sent the Dow plunging to depths not seen since last December. Naturally, when America stopped winning for a moment, the CNN gang was ecstatic – you half expected the panels to break out the Marlboros and start cuddling. But Tater Stelter and the rest of them then had to contend with a 500+ point rebound the day after the big dip, and they did so by changing the subject. But the damage was done – when you crow about how the Dow dropped about a net 1500 points over three trading sessions, it only highlights how the Dow rose about 7000 points since Inauguration Day.

And then there’s DACA, the ultimate rope-a-dope, where Trump has maneuvered the Democrats into being the ones who are stopping these illegal aliens from getting amnesty because the Dems don’t want to give in on border control measures everyone who is not some pinko doofus wants. Please please please, Chuck, shut down the government again, and again, all for the benefit of law-breaking foreigners. Step on that rake! You know you want to!

Oh, and simmer in outrage at how Trump tweeted his condolences to the family of Edwin Jackson of the Colts after some illegal alien who should not have been here got hammered and killed him. Yeah, Trump is the problem for telling the truth, not the illegal aliens who are killing Americans.

Let’s have that talk, liberals. You keep telling Normal Americans they are bigots for complaining about having to bury their brothers and sisters, their fathers and mothers, their kids. That topic is not hilarious, like your other stupid strategies, but it demonstrates the undeniable fact.

Trump owns you liberals. He has your pink slips. He holds your strings. You dance to his tune.

Your unreasoning hate, not just of Donald Trump but of the Normal Americans he champions, and your burning desire to take back the power you have lost, has blinded you to the truth. It’s also made you deaf to the coherent, which is why so much of what you say sounds insane to Normal Americans. And that’s why everything else you say is drown out by the “Whaps!” of you dummies stepping on Trump’s rakes.