Well, that whole government shutdown thing didn't work out real well for the genius Democrats, did it? Nothing seems to be working out for them lately. The stock market is going gangbusters. The House GOP are becoming gangbusters – and the gang that is about to be busted is the coterie of evidence deleting Obama cronies who so brazenly politicized the government to help their political puppetmasters that even Zombie Richard Nixon is appalled. ISIS is dead - rest in pieces, you Seventh Century pederast cowards. And thanks to tax reform, everyone else is dead too, but is also getting more money in their paychecks.
There's finally optimism and hope out there again. The #Winning USA - the one no one under 40 has experienced in his/her/xer adult life - is back in black and on the attack. It's everything we normal Americans love, and it’s everything the Democrats hate.
So, thought the Democrats, how do we turn these terrible trends around and get back to malaise, where we liberals can really shine?
Just a couple weeks ago, the Dems were giddy about how they were totally going to ride a tsunami into the midterms and take back the House and maybe even the Senate. The ballot preference numbers for the GOP were uglier than an unshaven Womyn’s Studies professor in a V-hat.
But then America’s success intervened.
See, that's the problem when you're invested in America’s failure. When America succeeds, you fail. And America has not yet been sufficiently fundamentally transformed onto one of those Third World Schumerholes that it defaults to failure.
So, up until their inevitable humiliating capitulation, the Dems were stuck swimming upstream against the current of prosperity – they are the tactically incompetent salmon of American politics – when they had a brainstorm. Even as they valiantly raged against Trump’s success, they managed to find a way to fail even more hilariously. They decided that this was just the right time to shut down the government because the GOP refused to give amnesty millions of foreigners/potential new Democrat voters.
Good plan.
It sure worked out great.
For Normal Americans
Sure, window-licking scold Nancy Pelosi thought it was a great idea – blue America has some very diffrent ideas of what’s a good idea than Normal America. But Chuck Schumer – who is a lot of things, nd none of them are “dumb” – clearly saw this was a disaster in the making. But he had no good choices. He could rev-up his Zero for the shutdown kamikaze suicide mission, or strap on the dynamite vest and blow up his causus by surrendering on what his base demanded. Both would end badly.
Wait, are we not allowed to make shutdown/terrorist analogies anymore since the Dems were doing the shut- downing? Oh well, I missed that memo.
I keep telling the libs that they are going to hate the new rules.
So, the Democrat Party, faced with the existential threat of American prosperity and a successful Trump administration, decided to go with the dumbest possible strategy. Let’s review:
·The economy is cooking and people are becoming aware of how much tax reform is going to help them if they aren’t lawyers living in blue states.
·Bradley Manning has just announced he’s going to be running for Senate in Maryland as a Democrat and a girl, making the Democrat’s TRUMP TREASON IMPEACH! platform super awkward.
·The midterm numbers have changed – they are still not great for the GOP, but the pinko advantage has been cut in half in a matter of weeks.
And with this background, the Dems decided that what they needed to do right now, this minute, is fight to the death on Amnesty Hill.
With their sorta-Republican co-conspirators Sailor Suit Lindsey Graham and Jeff “18% Approval” Flake, they insisted that the GOP alienate its own base in order to swell the Democrats’ base. No wall, no E-Verify, and no end to chain migration (which is now a racist term because of course now it is a racist term). Plus the people who broke our laws would get to be citizens since citizenship is the appropriate reward for breaking our laws when you’re liberal and when doing so will replace the electorate that detests you.
But they were mightily miffed whenTrump refused to take the worst deal since Burt Reynolds convinced Ned Beatty to trade places with him in Jon Voight’s canoe.
Then when the liberals actually shut down the government, despite some attempts at compromise by the GOP, they were stunned when their media pals went off narrative and pointed out that the reason the government shutdown was precisely what the Democrats were telling their base was the reason for the government shutdown – that the Dems refused to rustle up sufficient votes to hit 60 unless they got their amnesty.
GOP Briar Patch Status: Thrown in.
The GOP had hours of footage of Democrats bemoaning how zillions were going to die of Shutdown Ebola from back when the GOP last closed the government down over stuff unrelated to the budget. In fact, the most powerful and memorable arguments against the shutdown came from archived video of Dem senators bleating about OH THE HUMANITY! in 2013.
Plus Trump demonstrated the true potnetial and power of Twitter by bypassing any potential media gatekeepers and asking the simplest, most devastating question imaginable – Why were the Democrats shafting our military and Americans in need in order to score some votes from a bunch of illegal aliens?
Why indeed? Schumer knew this inevitable message was a disaster going in even if Pelosi didn’t – gosh, everyone she knew back in ‘Frisco was onboard! The framing was obvious to anyone not drunk on the leftist purple drank of the Democrat base.
Almost in spite of itself, the Republicans have a winning issue here, assuming they don’t revert to form and let the Squish Caucus weasel them into squandering it. Next November, the GOP is going to carpet bomb the Dems with ads asking voters to choose either the party that doubled their 401(k) or the party that wants to raise their taxes and that closes down the government to extort citizenship for illegal aliens.
Ouch.
If you are a red state Democrat senator up in 2018, you gotta be sweating. And if your name is Manchin or Heidekamp, you gotta be looking at your cell phone and thinking about giving Mitch McConnell a call about transitioning to GOP. Identifying as a Republican sure beats figuratively dying on Amnesty Hill.