Thanksgiving just kept on going this year with the long-overdue death of Fidel Castro; coming on the heels of America’s repudiation of the schoolmarm liberal fascism of Hillary Clinton and election of Donald Trump, this is adding up to be the greatest November ever.
But spare a few moments to consider the pain of the likes of Lena Dunham; she must truly be hurting right now. And when you are done considering her pain, laugh at it.
The Los Angeles Times demonstrated why it is now a glorified brochure by initially tweeting that Castro was a “charismatic icon.” Some editor quickly reconsidered and deleted it, but the internet is forever and besides, we know that’s how those hacks really feel. Liberals’ love for Castro is perfectly understandable when you consider their hatred of us normal Americans. Castro did everything they want to do – he imposed his will on an entire people, disarming them, controlling them and, when they got uppity enough, murdering them. Tell me again – as you wear your stupid Che t-shirt – how you’re worried that Donald Trump is a harbinger of tyranny.
By the way, Che died whimpering like the coward he was; kudos to the CIA for helping put that butcher in a hole. Too bad Castro dodged the CIA’s half-hearted bullets. Let that be a lesson to us – kill the next Castro early, before he metastasizes.
But hey, Castro improved Cuban healthcare, says the likes of Sean Penn, one of the misery tourists from Beverly Hills and Manhattan who goes down there, marvels at the cute old cars, and leaves. Ever see anyone from Beverly Hills or Manhattan head to Havana for bypass surgery?
Cuba’s a paradise all right, if you’re a tourist. You get to be in the tourist cocoon, seeing your tourist sights, drinking your tourist drinks, sleeping with your tourist prostitutes who do it because that’s the only way to support their families there in paradise. When my wife’s cousin goes back to Cuba it’s not as a tourist but as a rescuer. He packs his bags with things his relatives desperately need, like soap.
Yeah, soap. That’s communism. Waiting for your cousin to come visit so you finally wash.
But Castro raised literacy rates, as if that would not have happened anyway, yet no one can choose for himself what to read. If there’s a better metaphor for progressivism, I have yet to hear it.
Castro disarmed his people to ensure he could never be opposed. Liberals seek to disarm us.
Castro lived a life of luxury while his people starved. Liberals sip Chardonnay on California’s coast while 100 miles inland their pagan weather worship has turned to dust the land millions used to make their living cultivating and drilling.
Castro labeled dissent “counterrevolutionary” and controlled all information to ensure there was no dissent. Liberals label dissent “fake news” and “hate speech” and seek to control all information to ensure there is no dissent.
Castro cultivated an image – virile, unapologetic in his tyranny, outspoken in his hatred of America. How the liberals swooned over his fake army uniform, his willingness to hold power no matter who he had to kill to do it, and his ability to defy and spit upon the United States. His image was everything liberals want to be, but aren’t man enough to be.
But that image was a lie. Castro was no warrior and no thinker; he was a bully and an oaf mouthing socialist platitudes during four hour speeches to bored apparatchiks. He was a joke to everyone except to the people his minions tortured and killed. Castro was just a lucky punk, first protected by Russian nukes while he talked big, then protected by his own utter irrelevance as presidents like Reagan and the Bushes chose to simply let his pathetic commie kingdom wither away rather than shed American blood to speed up the reckoning.
Castro’s failure was no secret; compare the vibrant prosperity of Miami with the impoverished gloom of Havana and everyone sees the truth, even the half-wit rappers, moronic movie stars, and commie-lite Democrat pols who flew in and then flew the hell out ASAP after they shook his bloodstained hand.
Only a buffoon and an idiot could take a country full of Cubans and make it poor. That’s what Castro was – a clown, pumped up and protected by eager liberals who saw in him what they wished was inside themselves; manliness, ruthlessness, and above all, success. But it was all a scam, a fraud. Fidel Castro was a nobody, a weakling with big friends who did nothing but evil, a sour footnote in world history who will be quickly forgotten once the Cuban people rise up and throw off the shackles of their current geriatric oppressor du jour and become the free, rich nation that is its destiny.
If it wasn’t for Castro, I wouldn’t have my wife and family. She and some of her relatives escaped that prison island, came to America, and built productive lives. He grandfather wasn’t so lucky – he spent decades in Castro’s dungeons and died soon after his release. If only Democrat icon JFK hadn’t been so gutless and betrayed the brave warriors at the Bay of Pigs things would have been different for millions of Cubans. Of course, the same pampered Democrat who brought us perpetual Castro also brought us Vietnam, which Republican Richard Nixon effectively won, and then the Democrats ensured we still lost. Cubans flooded into our country, to our great benefit; like the industrious South Vietnamese who have added so much to America by fleeing communist tyranny, I guess Democrat cowardice paid off in the long run. It’s a tribute to Obama’s overwhelming incompetence that his latest Democrat betrayal of our Middle Eastern allies will add nothing to America, except shame.
Now is a time for thanksgiving. For being thankful that we dodged a woman who would have loved nothing more than to rule over us so completely that the only real difference between her and Corpsey Castro would have been that instead of fake fatigues she wore ghastly pantsuits. Disarmed, disempowered, and unable to dissent – that was Hillary’s vision for us normals, as my new novel describes in loving detail, and we stopped her.
And it’s time to be thankful that Castro is finally dead, our joy tempered only by the sadness that it wasn’t by hanging from a lamppost or by being riddled with holes like his role models Mussolini and Ceausescu, and that justice was not done by the enslaved, brutalized Cuban people themselves. But we don’t need to worry about justice. The Lord that Castro ostentatiously denied will not, in turn, deny him justice. And, as the edifice of tyranny that Fidel Castro built on earth continues to collapse into dust, Castro will find himself cast out among those he emulated – Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Chavez – and he will know that his short terrestrial interlude of unlimited power and slobbering liberal worship ultimately means nothing.