OPINION

Go Back to Bed

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"Got experience?"

That's the question asked by the new black-and-white bumper sticker being peddled for $3 each by Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton's official presidential campaign store. It's a reference, obviously, of Mrs. Clinton's famous television ad, "When the phone rings at 3 a.m., who do you want answering?"

We overheard one Washington political observer suggest that whoever answers the phone at 3 a.m. come January, he or she will wait for the sun to rise, put on a pot of coffee, get the cobwebs out of his or her head, then assemble White House advisers for their expertise, rather than making any split-second decisions in the middle of the night.

Travel and laugh

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton is confident enough about making a comeback in her bid for the presidency that she's looking beyond April 22's crucial make-or-break Pennsylvania primary, the last major delegate prize in a hard-fought Democratic primary campaign that Sen. Barack Obama continues to lead.

On the heels of Mr. Obama's "bitter" voters remark, Mrs. Clinton's campaign is appealing for volunteers to travel to several additional states holding primaries after the Pennsylvania contest to "knock on doors" on her behalf, including Indiana and North Carolina on May 6, West Virginia on May 13, and Kentucky and Oregon on May 20.

Meanwhile, Washingtonians are buying up tickets for the "Stand-Up For Obama Comedy Show" this Friday evening at the Comedy Spot in Ballston.

"Four of D.C.'s best comedians are going to be performing what might be the funniest comedy show of all time. Not trying to overhype it," say organizers of the unique fundraiser for Mr. Obama.

The lineup features Erin Jackson, from Live at Gotham and CBS's "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson"; Jimmy Meritt, who has opened for Kevin Nealon, Ralphie May and the cast of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"; Jermaine Fowler, as seen at DC Improv; and Tim Miller, who has opened for Daniel Tosh.

No expectations

What was Texas Rep. Ted Poe's reaction when the Republican learned that his daughter Kara Alexander delivered him a grandson last week named Payton Poe Alexander?

"My hope for my new grandson is that he grows up embodying the spirit of truth, justice and the American way, and that he plays football for the University of Texas and not Texas A&M."

Thawed out

The National Archives and CIA have "opened" 1.3 million pages — a stack that takes up 534 cubic feet of space — of Central Intelligence Agency records covering the Cold War period from 1946 to 1977, a joint effort to provide "open government and freedom of information."

The documents cover intelligence on economic, scientific, political and military matters, with particular emphasis, obviously, on the Soviet Union, Eastern Bloc and China.

Hope for us all

"Santine attributes her longevity to eating ... a great deal of chocolate."

So Rep. Brian Higgins, New York Democrat, revealed when wishing a happy 100th birthday yesterday to Santine Faraci Catalino, who was born on April 13, 1908.

During World War II, Miss Catalino was a welder in a defense plant, and until recently, attended bingo three times a week with her younger sister, who is 94. She quit smoking 50 years ago when she was 50.