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Pardon Everyone

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/Evan Vucci

Power is wasted if you don't use it, especially when exercising your power will protect your friends and hamstring your enemies. The Democrats get that. The last four years have demonstrated that they get how to use power via their obnoxious and evil witch hunts targeting the associates of the president, not least of all General Mike Flynn. Trump used his power and pardoned Flynn. That's a good start. Trump should now pardon everybody.

By which I mean everybody.

People who are accused of something right now.

People who aren't accused of anything yet.

People who worked for Trump.

People who didn't.

Even his opponents.

Pardon everybody.

Oh, the libs and their yipping media poodles will get mad. They'll foam at the mouth and howl at outrage at the way President Trump has spirited away their intended prey. Good. Their pain makes it all the better.

It is just.

It is right.

And it is necessary to stymie the Democrat Establishment's attempt to make examples of anyone opposing them.

Is this yet another norm that mean old Trump is overturning? Hardly. Instead, it is a woke recognition of the new rules, new rules the Democrats imposed and which they should now experience, suppository-like, good and hard. How many innocent people went bankrupt after being caught up in the Russia hoax? Did they care? So why should we about depriving them of their jollies? There might have been a time when we were all playing by the rules that said that the feds would only investigate bad people and bring them to justice, where the innocent were not punished through process. Those were good times. But they are not these times.


The Flynn travesty put the lie to the idea that the Department of Justice was anything more than just the Department. The Democrats weaponized law enforcement exactly like it weaponized the IRS, leveraging its power to attack and destroy their political enemies, and the Establishment shrugged as the media cheered. Now, there's no justice to be had, except in pulling the intended victims from the jaws of these monsters.

"Oh, but the courts will protect the innocent," claim the naïve and the disingenuous. Explain that to Mike Flynn. Even as the Court of Appeals understood that the vicious crusade by Judge Sullivan was a legal abomination, it let the charade play out because we have to honor institutions and so on and so forth and huffle-puffle argle-bargle, and too bad if a citizen gets steamrolled in the process.

Actually, steamrolling citizens is the goal.

But we are woke now. We see there's no justice, at least not for us – not from the institutions anyway. But there can be from President Trump's broad and unchallengeable power to neuter the Democrat Javerts. 

So pardon everyone.

Pardon everyone in or around and who once said something nice about the Trump Administration from any crimes committed or alleged to be committed from the day Trump came down the elevator in NYC to the day he hops on the chopper to head to Florida to plot his Glover Cleveland power move.

Pardon Jared and Ivanka, Don Jr. and Eric, Melania and Barron, and every appointee and every staffer and everyone who made the beds or cut the lawn at the White House.


Pardon Barr and Sessions, every cabinet secretary and every single one of their loyal underlings.

Will the Left crow that this proves they are guilty of something? Yes. Will they claim that regardless? Yes. So? Let them shake their puny fists at the clouds, powerless to wreck any more lives.

But don't stop there. Pardon everyone, anyone who might conceivably be swept up in the unity Administrations Truth and Reconciliation Tribunals.

Any investigation of any ally must be presumed illegitimate, based on past performance, so uncap that pardonin' pen and get signing. Pardon Texas AG Ken Paxton, who is being investigated by the feds for something and who offended the Democrats by bringing court challenges following the election. Wait, what if he’s guilty of a crime? Well, what if he’s not? Remember the Democrat persecution of Tom Delay? Of Rick Perry? Please tell me how we can totally rely on this to be on the up-and-up.

Go ahead. I need a laugh.

Find some more victims of outrageous prosecutorial conduct like Ari Teman, and pardon them too just to show that these tactics will not be rewarded.

Oh, and pardon Comey and McCabe and Felonia Milhouse von Pantsuit herself. Sure, they’re guilty as sin, but they will never be prosecuted – Durham will never be releasing any krakens, folks – so he might as well. And then pardon Hoover and even Biden* himself – they'll never be held accountable for their massive corruption. And Trump should be sure to pardon Swalwell for his criminal stupidity with the Beijing Bimbo as well as for his post-chili deployment of a weapon of mass destruction.


The president should also pardon himself. Take the big prize off the board.

Now, the key is to explain to the American people why he must do all this, because the lesson this courageous step will teach is as important as the action itself. He needs to tell the American people that these pardons are designed not to excuse the guilty but to protect the innocent. He needs to make clear that if we had a system of justice instead of just a system, he would not need to ensure that the Democrats could never punish their temporarily out-of-power opponents for the crime of opposing them. But he does need to because they will try.

Will some guilty non-Democrat people escape accountability, much like guilty Democrats already do? Maybe. I can live with that. Don't we hold that 10 guilty men should go free rather than one innocent man be condemned? Who can seriously come forward and state that there is zero chance that under Biden* any Republican will be unjustly persecuted? Heck, who can tell you with a straight face that that's not their actual plan?

I'm seeing tumbleweeds, people.

They will scream. They will shout. And we will cheer because the president has used his power to save his friends and confound his enemies. That's what power is for. They want to abuse their power? Then we will use ours to stop them.

I wish it did not have to be this way. I wish there was one system of impartial justice where the innocent are not hounded and the guilty are held accountable without reference to their party or faction. But there isn't, and we have zero moral obligation to pretend a manifestly two-tiered justice system has anything to do with justice at all. A mass pardon spotlights the problem and provides an opportunity to make a choice – re-embrace justice, or continue with more of the same?


Maybe someday the feds will earn back a reputation for neutrality and fairness, for impartiality and a commitment to the truth. Maybe Efrem Zimbalist Jr. will cease spinning in his grave. I hope so because there is nothing more profoundly destructive to our system than the kind of rampant and unrepentant double standard we have seen in the last decade. But the return to justice is not happening in the next four years under a President Asterisk administration. No, the Democrats are out to settle political scores, so President Trump should settle their hash.

Pardon everybody.

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