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Dear GQ Magazine: If Your Partner Gets Pregnant, You Should Man Up

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Rebecca Santana

It’s no surprise that the male magazine GQ doesn’t go by its former title “Gentleman’s Quarterly” anymore as it’s clearly not written by or intended for gentlemen today. The publication may even want to consider updating to “SQ” (Schmucks Quarterly) in order to better advertise to their intended audience. Who else wants to read articles like this recent one: “If Your Partner Has to Travel For an Abortion, You Should Probably Pay for the Plane Ticket?” 


(Humorously, even the author of this article isn’t so sure who they’re writing to — it’s for “someone who can get someone pregnant.” Pray for their marketing department.)

 But in all seriousness, no gentleman — no true man — will ever embrace the 14 rules for having sex that this article posits. For one thing, these “rules for having sex in the post-Roe era” (which include splitting the cost of an abortion) totally ignore surveys such as one recently commissioned by Support After Abortion which shows that more than 70% of men experience adverse changes in their mental health following an abortion. 

 Chivalry also dies a painful death beside self-respect as this is a how-to guide for being a pathetic, irresponsible guy. Beyond GQ’s advice being personally self-devastating, the article is a window into how pro-choice men think about others; clearly, they use abortion in order to be able to use women. Live Action has an excellent satirical video explaining this; how ‘abortion rights’ are pro-choice men’s rights. 

 However, in case you are a gentleman and stumbled upon GQ’s article by mistake (an honest one with that misleading name), here are 14 rules real men should follow, whenever and wherever: 

  1. Know the state you live in so you can better it. 

While GQ says knowing the abortion policies of where you’re having sex is “crucial” for responsibility-free sexual activity, ask yourself these questions instead: How life-affirming are the laws in your state? Are there service organizations in place that can always step in to help a family in an unplanned pregnancy? If you answered ‘no’ to one of these questions, get to work and make the needed changes. Vote pro-life or run as a pro-life candidate or help a pro-life candidate’s campaign. Volunteer at a pregnancy resource center or give of your available resources. 

  1. Do everything you can to support your partner if you get pregnant. 

No, you should not support a desire for abortion, GQ. That’s neither being a gentleman nor a good father. Instead, share in your partner’s joy over the pregnancy and encourage her if she’s anxious about delivery or parenthood. Pray for her strength and your own during this exciting time of expecting a new life. 

  1. Offer to be present for any pregnancy-related appointments.

It’s sad to hear women say that the men who impregnated them and then pushed them to have an abortion (60% of post-abortive women report coercion) couldn’t even stick around to drive them to their appointment — but driving to an abortion facility or being with them while they take the Chemical Abortion Pill isn’t any better. Real men step up for women and the children they have created; that means making yourself available for appointments during this time if she’d like moral support. For some women, visiting the obstetrician/gynecologist for check-ups can be nerve-wracking or at least uncomfortable, but holding a hand can be an enormous comfort. 

  1. Man up & provide; Don’t squabble over the bills. 

Sorry, GQ: going Dutch on an abortion or birth control isn’t impressive. It’s laughable. Men are to provide for their families, not count coins over how to kill their children.  

  1. Understand how babies are made.  

And don’t be surprised if the actions which make babies actually make a baby

  1. Know what miscarriages are & their emotional effects. 

Now, this is the one point I can agree with GQ on…semi-agree, anyways. It is good to be educated on miscarriage and understand the mental impacts of pregnancy loss to better support anyone who experiences it. However, GQ has once again spread the misinformation that lack of access to abortions will affect miscarriage care, and that is blatantly false, according to the Association of American Pro-Life Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Where are those fact-checkers when you need one? 

  1. Listen and serve your partner while she goes through the throes of pregnancy.  

Pregnancy is hard, but you can make it easier by having a servant’s heart, an eye for what needs to get done, and a helping hand. 

  1. Be on the same page about contraception…duh. 

While GQ’s choice to use a four-letter word to describe lovemaking says a lot about how they view sex, it is fair to say that couples should agree about how they uniquely approach sexual activity and all that goes along with it. Why? Because sex isn’t meant to be selfish, regardless of what you read in trashy magazines. It’s meant to be a man fully giving himself to a woman and a woman fully giving herself to a man. 

  1. If you have any chance of impregnating a woman, be prepared to be a father. 

GQ needs to read #5 again — enough said. 

  1. Don’t want STDs? Don’t sleep around. 

Shocking, I know, but it is really that easy. No blood tests or medications required. It’s this magical thing called “monogamy.” Side effects include true intimacy, trust, and statistically higher rates of happiness. 

  1. Keep your fertility intact.  

While GQ advises vasectomies as a form of birth control and “really not at all a big deal,” mutilating your body is kind of a biggie. These procedures aren’t always reversible, and it could be very sad for both you and your partner in the future if you want a child but unable to have one due to this elective surgery. Instead, treat your fertility as a gift; it means you’re healthy. 

  1. Make sure your partner understands an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t mean it’s an unwanted pregnancy.  

If you’re not trying to get pregnant but do, remind your partner that life is a gift, and you love having made this new life with them. 

  1. Donate to life-affirming pregnancy and parenting resources. 

Donate to abortion funds? No, no GQ: more like abortion, go fund yourself. Real men donate their time, talents, and resources to uplifting preborn children and families through life-affirming service organizations, charities, and religious associations. These can be local resources or national resources like Students for Life of America’s Standing With You initiative. 

  1. Be vocal about how your life is a gift & everyone should have the same right to theirs. 

Don’t shy away from the topic of abortion; use it as an opportunity to change hearts and minds or at least plant seeds. We were all given a voice at birth (verbal or otherwise) so we need to use it to speak up for the voiceless. My suggestion to get started: Make fun of articles like this one from GQ — then let your actions of love speak even louder than your words. 


Caroline S. Wharton is a press strategist and staff writer for Students for Life of America. 

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