Tipsheet

Edwards Plans to Keep Running Largely Because He Has Nothing Better to Do


Such is the lifestyle of the litigious and luxuriously unemployed. Edwards is stickin' around, remaining in the race to regale us with his affected Southern accent, which will only get worse as he travels nearer his homeland in South Carolina.

By the time he loses next Saturday, he'll be the Britney Spears of presidential candidates-- hopeless, aimless, and possibly barefoot, repeatedly asserting that his character is shaped by the fact that he's "just country, y'all," and speaking wistfully of how hot he was back in 2004.