Tipsheet

Homeland Security Scraps Color-Coded Terror Alert System

Farewell, rainbow of fear.  We hardly knew ye:



I could never quite fathom how, exactly, this system enhanced security in any way.  What I could do, however, is memorize that irritating recorded airport announcement, in which a monotone woman's voice incessantly informs travelers that "according to the Department of Homeland Security, the current threat advisory level is...orange."  If you're stuck in an airport for hours (as I happen to be today), that announcement starts to grate on your psyche after about its fourth cycle through. 

In case anyone is wondering, "according to Guy Benson, his current air travel rage advisory level is approaching...red."