Tipsheet

Spare Us: John Kerry Afraid Obama Will Be "Swiftboated"

John Kerry is out on the fundraising trail for President Obama -- arguably the most well-funded politician in history -- decrying the latest contribution to Mitt Romney's SuperPAC. It's a familiar face for the Massachusetts Senator. One that he'd probably like to forget.

"Bob Perry, the deep-pocketed funder of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, just gave $3 million to Mitt Romney's Super PAC," Kerry wrote in a fundraising email asking Obama supporters to donate three dollars to the president's campaign. "One man. Three million dollars."

Kerry, a multimillionaire married to a billionaire heiress, acted aghast at the wealth of Romney's superPAC donor. "Their multi-million dollar smear tactics were new in 2004; in 2012 we know their playbook, and shame on us if we don't tear it into shreds," he wrote. "Join me and we will stop the 'swiftboating of President Obama.'"

Oh, the injustice of it all.

I love the melodramatic, "One man. Three million dollars." Senator Kerry has more money than God, so the idea that his jaw hit the floor over a $3 million donation is laughable. To put it in perspective, that yacht he relocated to Rhode Island to avoid Massachuesetts taxes runs him $7 million. Heck, my boat's only worth...oh wait. I don't have one.

If this fundraising effort is any indication of the forthcoming general election season, we can count on earnest portrayals of President Obama as a "victim" of the Evil Wealthy Republicans and their shameless smears about his pristine record. But hey, I don't blame the Democrats. Easier to label the GOP a bunch of meanies than attempt to defend the last four abysmal years.