Tipsheet

Chris Rock Absolutely Obliterates Meghan Markle

Lady, this will all stop if you just go away. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry could have a comfortable life away from the spotlight, which they claim to want, but they also exhibit this penchant for reminding people they exist in the most insufferable way. You cannot have it both ways: you can’t claim to want privacy and virtual anonymity but then get huffy when people make fun of you. First, no one cares that your feelings are hurt; you are members of the British Royal Family. Second, emotional distress is part of the job description. And third, you’re some of the most privileged people on the planet. No one has time or patience to hear about how rich people are going through tough times. Prince Harry recently released his memoir, Spare, which earned him a $20 million advance. 

The couple fled the United Kingdom for California and mostly renounced their duties as royals, with allegations of vicious racism within the family and claims of being silenced. Of course, all of this was detailed in an interview with Oprah Winfrey, so not so sure the muzzled allegations hold water. Recently, Ms. Markle was reportedly triggered by South Park’s episode mocking the couple (via NY Post): 

The Duchess of Sussex apparently doesn’t think “South Park” is funny. 

Comedy Central aired an episode titled “The Worldwide Privacy Tour” mocking Meghan Markle, 41, and Prince Harry, 38, and their decision to move to the US to seek a private life — and Markle allegedly isn’t too happy about it. 

The duchess is reportedly “upset and overwhelmed” by the episode and “annoyed by ‘South Park’ but refuses to watch it all,” a source told the Spectator. 

A royal commentator even suggested that the episode could even bring on a lawsuit.

“Their legal team are casting an eye over the episode to see what is wrong, and what could be turned into something more sinister. This appears to be their course of action rather than laughing it off, enjoying the moment and showing the world that they get the joke,” royal reporter Neil Sean told Fox News, adding that the creators of “South Park” have not heard anything yet. 

Cue the eyerolls, and while South Park’s episode is hilarious, it’s comedian Chris Rock that rips the couple to shreds in his latest Netflix special, 'Selective Outrage.' The racism claims Rock does away with in minutes, noting that the Royal Family are the “original racists;” they virtually invented it. 

[WARNING: Strong language]:

“That’s like marrying into the Budweiser family and going ‘they drink a lot.'"  

The comedian later dispenses with the claim that Markle was bombarded with questions about what color her biracial child would be, chalking it up to “in-law s**t” while adding that a lot of black families ask the same question. Rock wanted to know why Markle, now a royal, was complaining. 

“Didn’t she hit the light-skin lottery?” he quipped.

Meghan and Harry are now punchlines, with no one really caring about them having a rough go of it as they try to maintain their ‘we’re non-public, public figures’ narrative who also earn millions of dollars. 

In the words of Corrado ‘Junior’ Soprano, Meghan’s “like a woman with a Virginia ham under her arm, crying the blues 'cause she has no bread.”