OPINION

George Santos: Legend

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Let’s make no mistake – perhaps the most important and consequential Republican of the current era is one George Santos. AKA Anthony Devolder. AKA drag queen Kitara Ravache. He is an absolute hero, and he has done more for the cause of conservatism than a thousand GOP suits parroting Cato Institute and/or Chamber of Commerce clichés.

Sure, he has a track record of shocking scams, scores and shenanigans that would make a lesser man (assuming that’s how he’s identifying this week) blush. Not George – perhaps the greatest politician to bear that first name since the father of our country. No, in spite of his controversies and creative CV, he ran for a Democrat-leaning seat and he won. His vision and perseverance, and refusal to take “No” or “That’s a violation of federal law” for an answer, won us an extra House slot. George Santos is now 20% of the Republican majority. What makes it even sweeter is that he was running in the pompous, failing New York Times’s backyard and the tacky tabloid never figured out that this guy was a one-man crime spree. He fooled them all. Way to go, George, if that is your real name.

Naturally, the Democrats are in a tizzy over the recent revelations about his unusual past. Aided by the regime media, they are demanding that he resign his seat, which means a special election and a likely replacement by some pinko communist. A few Fredocons are joining in the chorus, but our boy George is hanging tough, to quote New Kids on the Block, of which I am pretty sure George will be shown to have once claimed to have been a founding member.

And, more importantly, Kevin McCarthy is refusing to call for him to resign. This is huge. This is momentous. This is long overdue. The Speaker is playing by the New Rules, and using them as an over-sized suppository for the Democrats.

The Old Rules were pretty clear. As a politician, you were pretty much expected to be a dishonest schmuck. You just had to portray yourself as not being one, and you had to hide your lies, dissembling, and corruption sufficiently to create an air of deniability. We all knew they were rotten. They just had to have the decency to not rub their rottenness in our faces and we could all go on pretending that the sordid business of politics was not really that sordid. 

Under the Old Rules, George Santos would be hounded out of office at the first major scandal revelation. But the Old Rules have been replaced. See, the Old Rules would have required the Democrats to police their own at the cost of a short-term political loss – though not much of one, since their most vivid villains come from deep blue states that happily re-elect their own bad guys. Let’s review the rogues gallery of dirtbags whose retention led to the New Rules that keep George Santos a congressman…

There’s Dick Blumenthal, the hero of the Tet Offensive. He was never near Vietnam, but that did not stop him from preening about like a war hero. He’s from Connecticut, and the Connecticutters did not mind. Back to the Senate goes Fauxdi Murphy!

In the nearby pseudo-state of Rhode Island is Sheldon Whitehouse. He allegedly belongs to an all-white beach club. But that’s cool with his Democrat constituents. Back to the Senate he goes to pontificate about white supremacy, of which he is an expert.

Let’s go across the fruited plain to California, where Eric Swalwell allegedly bared his Fang Fangs. He’s still in Congress, though not on the Intel Committee anymore. California Senator Feinstein had a Chinese spy for a driver for two decades, but she can plead lack of intent on account of the fact that she is totally senile. It’s actually sad.

Heading back, let’s stop in Minnesota to attend Ilhan Omar’s combination wedding anniversary and family reunion. Then on to New Jersey to visit Senator Robert Menendez. You don’t even want to know what that guy is into, though the feds keep trying (not very hard) to find out.

And then back up north again to say “How” to Senate squaw Elizabeth Warren. Actually, for Massachusetts, reelecting a fake Indian is nothing. For decades they reelected Ted Kennedy and he killed a chick.

So please, tell us more about how George Santos is diminishing the awesome credibility of our Congress. Explain how his presence lessens the mighty moral firepower these solons wield. Enlighten us on why this petty chiseler and idiosyncratic LGBTQA+%^b>?]&G trendsetter – hilariously, one accusation is that he is faking being gay – is unfit to sit among the rest of the perverts, bunko artists, and fabulists in Congress. Frankly, the addition of George Santos to the 534 other legislators probably raises their average decency.

The continued presence of George Santos – I hope he serves every single day of his term and I am not ruling out strongly endorsing him for reelection – is a welcome and refreshing repudiation of the Democrats’ use of cheesy double-standard to screw over the GOP. “You have to repudiate him!” they cry. Nah, he’s a sure GOP vote. Do you think he’s going to go off the reservation – sorry Liz – and vote against the GOP that’s backing him? Ha! If Kevin McCarthy asks him to come help move his apartment, George is so in debt he’ll do it. Do they really think we will lose 20% of our majority because George Santos was naughty? Not happening. 

George Santos is a potent middle finger in the face of our enemies. We are not going to apply one set of rules to ourselves that helps Democrats while the Democrats apply another set of rules to themselves that helps Democrats. The age of sap Republicans is over. And if you want to go back to the Old Rules, we’ll know it when we see Blumenthal doing the duffle bag drag and Warren walking off into the sunset down the trail of tears. 

Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, as well as his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.

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