Back when Joe Biden was mercifully not yet our President, he had a period where he flailed about like a deranged mongoose searching for “messaging.”
We all remember his bizarre “tell your kids to stop listening to the record player” rant as if he was addressing June and Ward Cleaver instead of actual humans in 2020. Then there was his infamous pronouncement in an interview with alleged personality Leonard Larry McKelvey (known professionally as Charlamagne Tha God) that if an African-American like McKelvey didn’t yet know if he would vote for Biden or Donald J. Trump “then you ain’t black.” Of course, if Trump had uttered anything that shockingly stupid, he’d have been tarred and feathered.
But since it was just ol’ Lunchpail Joe from Scranton, everyone guffawed and moved on to cover Biden’s next “rally” featuring six people sitting inside their cars wearing Fauci-approved facemasks, flashing their headlights and honking their horns…reminiscent of being at a drive-in double feature from the 1950’s, “Attack of the 50-foot Woman” followed by “The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.”
Finally, Biden landed on a slogan he like so much that his campaign plastered it on the side of his tour bus and on t-shirts as well as coffee mugs. Joe Biden would stand for “No Malarky.” (Again, not exactly a relatable word to Gen Z voters, but probably comforting to a guy born in November of 1942 when kids would gush over something being “the bee’s knees” or “the cat’s pajamas.”)
This week in violation of that premise, Biden and his hapless vice President Kamala Harris have apparently opted to crank up the “Magical Malarky Tour” in which they can honeycomb the nation (even the darkest corners of your own back yard) spouting non-stop malarky. Oh by the way, for those of us younger than 79… malarky was 1940’s slang meaning nonsense or rubbish.
Harris was leadoff act on the tour. After having hemorrhaged close to a dozen staffers since becoming Veep, she’s grousing about the bad p.r. she’s “unfairly” getting; of course, it probably doesn’t say much about Kamala’s personnel skills that her most senior staff member and chief spokesman Symone Sanders just jumped ship to become a weekend host on MSNBC, the Ham Radio of television networks. But I digress.
Kamala Harris has been quoted as confiding to allies that she thought the news would “cover her differently” if she were white and male…by inference attributing negative media coverage to her race and gender. Apparently not much of a history buff, I guess the Vice President never heard of Dan Quayle; last time I checked, that non-stop butt of late-night comedy routines was neither black nor female. But hey, don’t let the facts get in the way of a great “woke” narrative of victimhood.
But move over, Madam Vice President. Because the Boss is about to step up to the microphone and you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
After “taking the gloves off” is his unhinged screamfest in Statuary Hall on Capitol Hill last week, Joe Biden launched into nonstop blasts against the “defeated former President” (he must have referred to Trump that way two dozen times, as if trying to convince himself and the nation that he had actually won the election. “No Joke. Folks! I mean it!”) I’d love to see Biden’s Rorschach tests sometime for a clue to why he’s always portraying himself as a prize-fighter, or threatening to take Trump “out behind the gym” and “beat him up.” When in reality he looks like the guy in the BEFORE pictures displayed in pitches for bodybuilding courses.
This week, Biden’s Magical Malarky Tour pivoted from attacking Trump to rewriting history…trying to drape efforts to tighten election security around the necks of Republicans like Ku Klux Klan robes. (“No, really, folks. I’m a uniter, not a divider. I mean it. No joke!”) And he positioned the total failure of Democrats who control The White House…the U.S. Senate…and the U.S. House on racists in the GOP. But like his fact-challenged junior partner, Biden totally mangled history while downloading the Big Smear in front of historically black Morehouse College.
He kept invoking the nonsensical “Jim Crowe 2.0” malarky while conveniently overlooking the fact that the authors and enforcers of all Jim Crowe laws were DEMOCRATS. And he gave his audience a series of either/or choices on blowing up the filibuster so that snakeoil salesman Charles Schumer can push through Democrat blueprints for rolling back all current and future voter integrity laws.
Biden asked viewers “Will you stand with Martin Luther King or George Wallace?” (failing to point out that the former governor of Alabama was a DEMOCRAT.)
“Will you stand with Congressman John Lewis or with Bull Conor?” he bellowed.
(Again, Connor---the infamous Birmingham, Alabama police commissioner who turned fire hoses and snarling dogs on civil rights demonstrators---was, you guessed it, a DEMOCRAT.)
The President then wrapped up the Q&A by asking: “Will you stand with Abraham Lincoln or with Jefferson Davis?) This one completed the total dunce-ification of Biden…since the Confederacy’s first president Jefferson Davis was a DEMOCRAT, while Abraham Lincoln who freed the slaves was a Republican. 3 for 3 says Joe is unlikely to make it to the Final Round of “Jeopardy!” where the scores can really change.
Of course, none of this matters outside of here on Townhall. Since Biden’s handmaidens in the media like Chuck Todd and Jake Tapper and the entire employee roster of the Associated Press (which mysteriously dropped its “Fact Check” feature once Biden was elected) will not highlight his ongoing and shameless lies and malarky.
But now you know. So you’ll be ready when the Magical Malarky Tour rides through your town in the exciting days ahead.
Tom Tradup is V.P./News & Talk Programming at Dallas-based SALEM Radio Network. He can be reached at ttradup@srnradio.com.