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The Texas Democrats Apparently Cannot Find a Grocery Store

Brad Slager
Brad Slager  |  Jul 26, 2021
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Townhall's daily VIP feature with coverage on the deeply flawed aspects of journalism in the nation. We'll look to bring accountability to the mishaps, malaprops, misdeeds, manipulations, malpractice, and manufactured narratives in mainstream media. 

07.26.21 (Update)

DNC PR Firm -- VARIOUS MEDIA

  • Asking for We-Don’t-Care packages.

So let’s check in on those brave warriors from Austin; you know, those Texas politicians who ran off to D.C. for their flee-ibuster. It has been a rather quiet week from the rabble, although there has been one development. They are whining for essentials from their home state.

These are the vaunted minds who operate our federal and state budgets?!?! Get your sorry selves to the nearest food store, you simpletons, these are not import items unavailable in the nation’s capital. Even if they are broke, shipping these items will be far more expensive than loading up a gift card online, then let them hump down to the market.

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Their idiocy only continues to expand, and you do not hear a single voice of criticism from the media who supported their lark.

Legalized Presstiution -- POLITICO

It is rather convenient when your party is facing an assured calamity at the ballot box next year and the members of the press already have the explanation all laid out. So take heed, Democrats, that assured midterm landslide that everyone anticipates is not a result of your bungling of policies -- it is a result of those darned new election laws the cheating Republicans are passing across the country! (Small matter that voters are in favor of these laws, it is still the GOP cheating...or something.)

Artisanal-Crafted Narratives -- WASHINGTON POST

In a glowing bio of Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg there was a section on his housing woes. Pete and his husband, Chase, are suffering by living in a one-bedroom apartment, because they supposedly could only otherwise find a 1-bed with a study for $4,500 in town.

It really does not occur to WaPo to look into a few questionable details.

One, how was he incapable of finding anything cheaper in town, and he is going to be a huge part of the new infrastructure bill stretching into the trillions of dollars? Secondly, how are we supposed to have sympathy for the man as he is pulling down a $220K annual salary, AND he and his husband have recently signed book deals? But the biggest question is why there was no analysis about how that massive spending program will only spike inflation even higher, compounding this issue for everyone?

Pulitzer Prize Nomination -- THE VERGE

Surely there were some who noticed this. We are just not sure there were enough people noticing to generate interest in this piece, yet here we are. The Verge has found a weather anomaly -- not in the environment, mind you, but on your phone.

-If you’re an iPhone user, the weather is always a particularly nice 70 degrees. Or 68 degrees. Any temperature but 69 degrees, actually, because it turns out that the built-in weather app on some versions of iOS — including the current version, iOS 14.6 — will refuse to display the internet’s favorite number, even if the actual temperature in a given location is, in fact, 69 degrees.

And it seems this is not a result of preventing snickering users from sending screenshots to each other. It is probably a result of the source data arriving in celsius and then, due to rounding, the conversion to fahrenheit bypasses that temperature. So now you have useless explanations for the useless trivia few if any are bound to bring up in conversation.

 

07.26.21 (Original)

Hoax & Change -- CNN

Oliver Darcy barely flexed his think-muscle as he filed another report on his preferred target, Fox News. This time he accuses the network of race-baiting for profit, taking the laziest approach as he trods down the well-worn path.

What makes this even more laughable than just the tired ‘Fox is Racist!’ approach is that currently his network is mired in all things race related. They are obsessed in pushing Critical Race Theory, Don Lemon just accused the GOP of wanting to force blacks to count jelly beans in order to vote, and all manner of ethnic outrage is generating headlines this past month alone.

Artisanal-Crafted Narratives -- NEW YORK TIMES

In a lengthy article covering the FBI report made about Brett Kavanaugh The Times attempts to reopen the speculation of his supposed guilt, stating the FBI report did not go far enough in vetting the thousands of leads, and only those that were the most valid complaints were merely turned over to the Senate committee, and not investigated.

The reason was the committee had agreed the FBI would spend no more than a week on its investigation, and the agency did turn in the tips. In truth, the entirety of those tips -- over 4,500 of them -- were printed out and submitted to the committee.

This is the same New York Times that had its reporters release a book about Kavanaugh, one that had a breaking new revelation of a party where Kavanaugh supposedly had his genitalia pressed into a female’s hand, against her will. After releasing a companion column promoting the book and forwarding the story the Times -- hours later -- issued a retraction...of its own book and reporting. The woman in question never recalled the incident ever happening. Still, the paper reported on the incident, and centered a book around the false charge.

Now they are attempting to bring the story back into the news cycle, in the same irresponsible fashion.

Body Checking The Fact Checkers -- USA TODAY

The intrepid warriors at USA Today have done the exhaustive diligence in getting to the bottom of an internet story. No -- it turns out -- the candy bar PayDay is NOT being renamed because it is seen as being insensitive to those who are unemployed.

-PayDay lovers can take a bite of relief:  An old rumor about the candy bar changing its name is just nuts. The Facebook post, which has been shared more than 9,700 times, was likely intended as a joke.

Fact-checking jokes. This is the effort made by our warriors of truth, these days.

News Avoidance Syndrome -- CNN

The carnival barkers at CNN are trying desperately to lure people into the President Biden tent with false boasts of the man’s enthusiastic approval numbers with the public. It is rather mirthful to see the folks who complain the loudest about misinformation taking the bold step of ignoring all the recent evidence that shows the exact opposite is taking place.

Where to begin? How about as we reported here, the ratings for his town hall on CNN were dismal. He had a speaking event over the weekend where the crowds were decidedly modest, especially in comparison to the throng President Trump drew at almost the same time in Phoenix. Then there is the data. 

The latest Gallup poll has the President dropping 6 points, to his lowest level so far. And as far as American confidence goes, that reaction has been plunging this summer by -20 points. But sure, he’s doing swimmingly, folks.

Pulitzer Prize Nomination -- SLATE

It has been noted that a new reality dating show on Netflix, entitled ‘’Sexy Beasts’’, could be a sign of the apocalypse. In the asinine premise they apply a new twist on blind dating, by having all of the participants outfitted in ornate animal makeup. This is done so that the two individuals get to know each other without the prejudice of looks...or something.

At Slate, one writer found something objectionable about the program, apart from 100-percent of its content. It turns out this show is a poor representation of the Furry Community!

-My editor assigned me to review the show in part because I’m a furry. But Sexy Beasts shares far more in common with late-night staples like ‘’Blind Date’’ than the fandom known for queer animal people with paws and claws. And as I watched episode after episode of stilted “romance,” I kept thinking: Furries do all of this way better.

We await word on the matter from Beto O’Rourke.