Every week brings with it another rush of absurd and absurdly stupid fundraising emails from Democrats and their fellow travelers in the progressive movement. They are filled with half lies, full lies, and some thing that are so incredibly dumb that a child could see them for the naked money-grubbing scam they are. But they work, they must because they continue, which is a testament to the level of intelligence we’re up against, and is why I do this series. Well, that and they’re fun to make fun of.
To illustrate this stupidity, I will note that all grammar mistakes, punctuation, italics, bolding, caps lock, and everything else is copied directly from those emails. Apparently there is a market of people on the left who enjoy reading emails that seem like they come from 13-year-old girls. Make of that what you will…
Our first email comes from something call the National Democratic Training Committee and involves gerrymandering. I live in Maryland, where Democrats in 2010 explicitly drew the districts to eliminate as many Republican from Congress as possible. They got rid of all but one. Yet no “anti-gerrymandering” leftist ever cites that because they really only oppose Republicans using this against them, not the other way around.
“We think gerrymandering is AWFUL. Plain and simple,” it opens. “Republicans use gerrymandering to unfairly divide up their districts in order to KEEP their seats -- from state legislatures to the halls of Congress!! But Republicans are gearing up for their biggest gerrymandering effort in YEARS. And experts are predicting that they could steal the House from Democrats unless we stop them.”
Then, hilariously, they say, “You’ve been selected for this important survey based on your informative past responses.” I’ve never once clicked on a link in one of their emails, let alone participated in one of their surveys. They must believe that lying to people is a risk worth taking to get deeper into the pockets of the suckers on their email list.
Next, we have a new group (because there’s always room for another new grift) called 314 Action, which says it is named after Pi, and is involving itself in the Georgia Senate race next year. “Mitch McConnell and Senate Republicans are ecstatic: A new poll from analysts who had some of the most accurate polling during the Georgia Senate runoffs shows Warnock TRAILING by two points,” they cry. “That’s why we need to raise $25,000 into our Defend the Senate Fund by midnight. Chip in to defend Georgia and our pro-science Senate majority.”
Without them getting money, their “pro-science” majority won’t stand a chance. Funny how that works out, isn’t it?
The Democratic Governors Association is also milking the Stacey Abrams money cow, which is weird since she’s known for having lost her race for Governor of Georgia. “The GOP has launched an all-out attack on voting rights in states across the country – especially for Black and brown Americans in crucial swing states. In the last few months alone, Republicans have introduced 361 voter suppression bills in 47 states. That's why Stacey Abrams is sounding the alarm – and asking YOU to help today,” they insist. They then ask dupes to take part in their “60-second Voting Rights Survey” that ends “at 11:59 p.m. tonight.” I got this email on Saturday afternoon. Sunday afternoon and decided to see if their very important “survey” was still active, since they said it had a definitive end time. Shock of all shocks, it was still active and ended the way all these “important surveys” always end – with the only way to have your “important” vote count being that it is accompanied by a donation. Funny how that works.
These emails are getting more desperate as more time passes. It has to be difficult to get people to open their wallets over something either getting further away in the past or still more than year off in the future. But the grift-machine still needs fuel; it always needs fuel. More accurately, the con artists who line their bank accounts with the money of unsuspecting dupes need to maintain their lifestyles. That’s the funny thing about money – the more you have of it, the more of it you need. With more than a year and a half before the next election, that need will only grow more desperate. It’s going to be fun to watch, but very sad that it will likely work on a lot of people.
Derek Hunter is the host of a free daily podcast (subscribe!), host of a daily radio show on WCBM in Maryland, and author of the book, Outrage, INC., which exposes how liberals use fear and hatred to manipulate the masses. Follow him on Twitter at @DerekAHunter.