OPINION

Our Lying Garbage Media Is Lying Garbage, But You Knew That

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

Dunking on the mainstream media is as easy as tripping a fat kid in a cast, except we would probably feel sorry for a fat kid in a cast who we tripped and sent slamming into the pavement piehole first. Unless the fat kid in a cast was a mainstream media journalist, in which case it would be totally hilarious.

They hate you, so feel free to hate them back. The MSM was not infuriated with Donald Trump when he called these hack transcriptionists for the liberal elite “the enemy of the people” because he was lying. The MSM was infuriated with Donald Trump because he was telling the truth.

They know that they hate you. They know that they eagerly embrace their role as the high-pitched mouthpiece for the coastal elite. They just don’t want you to know it.

But we do know it. We’re woke. Now we just need to get the rest of the potentially militant Normals out there woke too. Once we do that, we can see about finishing the toppling of our corrupt and incompetent ruling class, a job we started when we elected The Donald. Destroying our garbage mainstream media is a key component of that laudable objective.

The mainstream media is our enemy. That’s undeniable; to deny it is to deny what we see and hear with our own eyes and ears every day. Don’t be a “the media is garbage” denier. It would be like denying climate change if climate change was a real thing instead of a media-driven scam designed to take your money and freedom.

Worse, the mainstream media is an enemy that considers you unworthy of the courtesy of not lying to your face about obvious things. Liberal journalists have such contempt for us that they won’t even make the effort to gaslight us properly any more. Maybe it’s because liberal journalists think you are dumb. Maybe liberal journalists are themselves dumb. Or maybe – probably – it’s some combination of the two. But they are no longer even showing you the respect of trying to pretend that they are not lying to you.

Look at the whole RUSSIA TRUMP TREASON COLLUSION EMOLUMENTS thing. The last week was dedicated to trying to crucify William Barr for a couple months ago offering a summary of a report that has actually been released that was factually 100% accurate but was allegedly not aggressively hostile enough to the victim of the witch hunt that the report expressly cleared. That was a thing, except with a media that was not composed of human dumpster fires it would never have been a thing. If we had a real media, the story would have been “Bitter Liberal Hillary Donors On Witchfinder General’s Team Make Pathetic Play To Try To Cause Further Political Damage To Guy Who Was Too Clean For Them To Frame.

But we don’t have a real media, not in the sense that a real media would be composed of neutral truth-tellers who let the chips fall where they may and have no agenda nor favorites. What we have are hacks, many of them ex-staffers for the same liberal Democrats they are covering. Well, covering for.

Imagine what a real media would do faced with overwhelming evidence that the previous administration used the FBI, CIA and NSA to spy on the other party’s political campaign. Yeah, they might be a tiny bit interested in unraveling a scandal that, comparatively, makes Watergate look like pulling off a mattress tag. But no. Not only are they actively not curious about this almost unbelievable outrage, but they are actively attempting to cover it up on behalf of their liberal masters. 

How dare you call covert surveillance of an opponent designed to secretly obtain confidential information ‘spying’?” they fume. 

They are lapdogs of the liberal elite, and everything they write is designed to promote an agenda designed to disarm you, impoverish you, and silence you. Here’s the Kurt Test: Name one liberal media objective that, if implemented, would allow you to earn and keep more money and/or that would make you freer.

Go on. Try. 

There is none. They want you to be a hybrid of a piggy bank and a serf, just like the official Democrats do.

And they are such intolerable hypocrites. Take their insufferable posturing as uncompromising advocates for free expression. Just the other day was World Press Freedom Day, which resulted in an utterly predictable circle of self-love among these paragons of press liberty. Yeah, like they are brave firefighters battling to tell the truth instead of pathetic scribes obediently gacking up whatever leftist vomit their masters require.

Here’s how they celebrated World Press Freedom Day – by ignoring the suppression of the press freedom of people they don’t like. This week a bunch of journalists got banned off Facebook, but they were unapproved journalists so there was nary a squeak from the approved ones. Nor was there any comment on the continuing fascist oppression of dissent on college campuses, which provides a preview of what the liberal elite hopes to impose throughout America. Where is the press screaming about this suppression of free speech? Yeah, right. The undeniable fact is that the mainstream media approves of censorship – it actively supports censorship of dissenting views.

Specifically, conservative ones. Just wait. The mainstream conservatives you enjoy reading and listening to are next. The lib elite might let their Fredocon collaborators continue to scribble their trademark limp goo on their unread websites, but make no mistake – the mainstream media will be giddy when it has the public square to itself again.

Oh, the liberal journalists won’t come out and say they support censorship, but they do. There’s always an excuse, always a reason, why shutting up a conservative is just fine. Oh, so-and-so is an “extremist.” He is uttering “hate speech.” He is “dangerous.” Why, gagging him is cool because Facetwittergram is “a private company.” Their lame excuses for censorship may change, but in the end, every time, you will find the final conclusion of our glorious mainstream media guardians of free speech is that prohibiting the conservative opponents of their masters’ free speech is A-OK.

The mainstream media was a lying garbage institution that considers truth an obstacle to its agenda. Join me in making a personal commitment to cause the media harm in any lawful way possible. 

Never spend a dime on the mainstream media. Given the choice between gouging out my eyeballs and watching the broadcast networks, CNN or MSNBC, I’d go for gouging. I haven’t paid for a newspaper since Elizabeth Warren was a papoose. 

Highlight media failures and humiliations to the unwoke on social media and in person. For instance, if you see some poor sap reading the Washington Post, you might ask, “Did you know that paper called Louis Farrakhan ‘right wing’? Can you trust anything it says?” 

Never talk to a mainstream media reporter unless it helps you achieve one of your goals. I’ve been a source for several, and cut them off when they stopped providing me value. Also, they get really fussy when you tell them, “Oh, I have some really juicy info on that, but I’m not going to tell you because you suck.”

Feel free to prank the mainstream media in order to humiliate it publicly and help it lose even more credibility. Most liberal journalists are kind of dumb and easy to fool into writing something stupid. It’s hilarious.

You owe them nothing, not your attention or your respect. The mainstream media is a garbage institution serving a garbage ruling class. It’s your duty to fight the power by tripping it like a fat kid in a cast.

I had a real problem trying to write about the media in my action-packed (and occasionally hilarious) novels about the United States split into red and blue, People's RepublicIndian Country and Wildfire. That’s because it was hard to come up with a vision of a mainstream media in the leftist hellholes that was somehow worse than the Baghdad Bobs we experience today. Read the books and see how I did. That pack of losers at that sad website that replaced what used to be the failed Weekly Standard hailed these books as “appalling,” so know you’ll love them!