OPINION

On The Upside, At Least This Election Will Destroy The Media

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.

With the clock ticking toward Election Day, the mainstream media seems intent on committing ritual suicide by eviscerating the tattered remnants of its credibility. See, there’s some good news out there if you just look for it.

At this writing, it still looks like Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit will convince enough morons to vote for her to defeat Donald Trump, but who the hell knows? The polls are tightening, my book remains eerily prescient, and in Hades they are getting out the mittens. So what’s next from our disgraced media drones as they face the possible repudiation of every libfascist thing they believe in? More covering up, to be sure. By the time this column actually runs, it could be revealed that Hillary tried to auction off Idaho to the Emir of Burkina Faso in return for a $25,000 donation to her slush fund. But then her organ grinder monkeys in the mainstream media would respond to this news by claiming that that this is all Russian lies, the notarized videotape of her explaining that Boise alone is worth 25 grand notwithstanding, or by claiming that these allegations are racist against Burkina Fasoans.

Then again, the media would eagerly aid and abet any fresh oppo dump on Donald Trump in hopes of turning everything around. The media slobbers at the possibility of obtaining the much-gossiped about KGB sex tape, though its delight seems to rely on the dubious notion that Trump getting biz-ay with multiple hot Eastern European women is totally going make people think less of him. Then again, most members of the media have never met an actual male.

The media would love to obtain a new tax return showing that Trump didn’t pay taxes on money he didn’t make – remember, stolen stuff if fine unless it hurts liberals, and then it’s bad. The desperate media be happy just to trot out another woman who is paid to have sex on film to break down in tears claiming Trump tried to pay her to have sex, only not on film. If she was involved in the taped Russian orgy, there would be a kind of wonderful symmetry.

Regardless, welcome to the countdown to the final doom of the media as we know and hate it. 

We’ve already seen some remarkable things in the last week. It’s no shock that Hillary Clinton does not believe that the American people should go into the voting booth armed with the knowledge that one of the two major party candidates is under investigation for multiple felonies by the FBI. She and her liberal pals believe in the mushroom theory of voter information – keep them in the dark and feed them…manure.

What’s remarkable is the reaction of the press, the Fourth Estate, the ink stained wretches who afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted, those proud defenders of the People’s right to know, the guys who published the classified Pentagon Papers because of transparency, damn it. These heroes likewise do not believe that the American people should go into the voting booth armed with the knowledge that one of the two major party candidates is under investigation for multiple felonies by the FBI.

Let that ping pong around in your brain for a minute. Liberal journalists, by which I mean journalists, do not think you should know things that hurt their favored candidate. This is an interesting new take on the whole idea of “news reporting,” an innovative rethink that refocuses journalists less on ensuring people hear the news and instead focuses on ensuring they only hear certain news that, incidentally, supports the media’s progressive political agenda.

So we get fact checking that involves neither facts nor checking. When RoboHillary’s debate program caused her voice unit to make noises that explained that the Heller Supreme Court decision was about keeping toddlers from getting guns, no facts were checked. This despite millions of Americans who would probably be interested to know that Hillary does not believe the Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms protects their right to keep and bear arms, and instead believes it protects the government’s right to keep and bear arms, all because of, apparently, the children. 

Nor did it fact check Hillary’s failure to mention the key fact that the Citizens United Supreme Court decision Hillary hates prevented the government from prosecuting people for making a movie critical of…wait for it…Hillary Clinton. 

But hey, some withered rando says Trump tried to date her in 1973! Yeah, let’s lead with that!

I don’t know…I kind of like the idea of having all the facts in front of me and determining all by my lonesome what I think is important and what it all means. But then, this makes me unreliable, dangerous even. If enough people find out that the FBI seems to think Hillary Clinton and her foundation/crime family is totally corrupt, that might influence their votes and it could result in unapproved people taking office.

We sure can’t have that. So in this last week before the election, it’s more important than ever to restrict the available information about the myriad flaws of Hillary Clinton and to create new false narratives about her opponent because if the people might vote wrong if they have raw, unfiltered information.

You know what we used to call “raw, unfiltered information” back in the day, before the media poured gasoline all over itself and flicked its Bic? 

The truth.